whats going on?

[the_kid]

hey guys! ive been checkin out this site and finally decided to post on here because i have a problem i think. might be a long read.

well im 22 and still a virgin. i have a gf who is 19. well here it goes. ive been with my gf for about 9mos now and its going. but there is a problem. she shows no emotions towards me whatsoever! its always me that tells her how much i miss her. its always me that tells her how much i like her. its always me that tries to hug her. its always ME! its been awhile since ive done these things because she usually changes the subject when i say or do stuff like that. its like if shes still not comfortable with me like that. sex is definately out of the question right now. before she got with me, she had just gotten off a 3yr relationship with her ex and i know it hurt her real bad. she had a baby with her ex. the ex cheated on her and so thats what caused the split. i admit that we kinda got together real quick after all that happen but months went by and is she still hurting from what happened? ive always been a great guy to her. i have never let her down or anything so i know its not me. i know she does like me and care for me, but sometimes i think that shes still hurting from what happened with her ex so hence i am sorta blocked off from her emotionally. she kinda wants to move on but something holds her back. or maybe she is moving on but real slowly. ive tried talking to her about this but she says thats she scared that i might leave her or that shes scared that i might stay in her life. i remember she asked me once that if it bothered me that she doesnt show any emotion towards me but i dont remember what i said i love her and her lil baby and i cant possibly see my life without them! so what should i do? give her more time? anything will help! thanks!

[sera300]

Sounds as if she is in a rebound relationship; she will not change especially since she is emotionally vacant in your relationship. I think you have to decide if you are getting what you need in this relationship...

[the_kid]

anyone else?

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by sera300

Sounds as if she is in a rebound relationship; she will not change especially since she is emotionally vacant in your relationship. I think you have to decide if you are getting what you need in this relationship...

Yup, what Sera says...your girlfriend is young,she's been hurt,she is probably very hesitant to give a lot of emotion...the trust was killed and she will take a long time to get over it...no matter how much you pour in emotionally,she may take it as smothering and may withdraw more..

[Newtolove]

just act natural don't overdo attentions but make sure she knows you are there for her. Do you guys sleep together at all (not in the sense have sex)

[the_kid]

Originally Posted by Newtolove

just act natural don't overdo attentions but make sure she knows you are there for her. Do you guys sleep together at all (not in the sense have sex)

yeah sometimes i try to act cool and stuff but sometimes i just cant help it! i want to tell her how i feel although she knows it. no we dont sleep together. shes at her house and im at mine.

[the_kid]

Originally Posted by HardNgood

Yup, what Sera says...your girlfriend is young,she's been hurt,she is probably very hesitant to give a lot of emotion...the trust was killed and she will take a long time to get over it...no matter how much you pour in emotionally,she may take it as smothering and may withdraw more..

so you think i should just give her more time? i have been thinking and maybe thats just the best route right now. i dont want to leave her or anything but maybe just give her time until she finally comes around but yet i will show her that im there for her.

[HardNgood]

depends on how long MORE time is? might not be within your timeline..LOL..if she drags you down, perhaps you should move on.

[Newtolove]

any reason why you can't live together ? or at least spend much more time with her ?

[the_kid]

Originally Posted by Newtolove

any reason why you can't live together ? or at least spend much more time with her ?

would be nice to live together but i dont want to do that just yet. and its hard to see her more often cuz mon-friday im at work all day. and on saturday its the day with her and on sunday its a day with the guys.