Feel like a rebound...

[pentagon]

I have been talking to a girl over the internet for 3 months now, she lives in Europe and I live in the US...so we haven't been able to meet yet. She recently broke up with a boyfriend that she dated for just a few months. I have found out that she regularly visits her ex-boyfriends myspace/stickam page, as well her ex's new girlfriend's myspace page.

I don't really know what to make of this. I'm not sure if it's just a jealousy thing or what...she has alot of insecurities about her looks etc... so I don't know whether to think she is visiting her ex's myspace/stickam page because she is still really in love with him or if its just that she is merely interested in what he is doing, who he is dating etc...

I feel like a complete rebound now that I have found this out...I can't discuss it with her, because she doesn't know that I have this information on her...and if she found out she may not trust me anymore.

What would you make of this?

[sera300]

And you feel this is a real relationship? You have never met her but you are jealous?

[pentagon]

Originally Posted by sera300

And you feel this is a real relationship? You have never met her but you are jealous?

No, I don't feel like it is a true relationship. But, I do plan on visiting her soon and making it one. If she still has feelings for this other guy then I don't know if I should waste my time with her anymore. I feel like I have just taken the other guys place of talking with her and making her feel loved and that she is more or less fantasizing about the other guy when she is talking to me.

I don't really know what to think to be honest...

Thanks for the reply

[sera300]

Chatting with people on-line does not allow you to get to know people. They can become anyone they want. And they can exclude you from the truthfulness of who or what they are about. The only way you really get to know anyone is through spending time with them, seeing how they react and behave in all of life's situations. Just a warning.

I think you have a valid point, she may still have strong feelings for her ex and you are a surrogate, someone who gives her attention that she is not receiving from the one she loves. At times, I have seen many get tangled up through technology and develop feelings for someone who they only know from e-mails and IM's and be disappointed later on.

On top of it all, you reside in different countries. How do you plan to get to know her (the good and bad) at such a distance?

These are just a few thoughts which run through my mind. Good luck, trust your instincts.

[pentagon]

I agree, you can't really know someone unless you spend a lot of time with them. We do talk on the phone and use webcams as well, so that gives me a little more insight into her personality. Ultimately, one of us would have to move to be with each other. But, I just wish there was a way to really understand her feelings for me, she tells me that "she loves me as much as one can only knowing someone over the internet"...but I just don't know if it's me she "loves" or if she is just imagining me as her ex...ugg lol...

Thanks again, you are very insightful.