how can i get her attention?

[yoe123]

Hey, Im' pretty new to this forum, I am a 20 yrs old male and I am posting this thread because I really need help.

The problem is I've been working at this "company" for almost a year, and since I started I had a crush on one of the girls there, it was such a big crush that I never talked to her, and up to the date I don;t talk to her because I get so nervous when I'm close to her. One thing I always noticed was that we always made great eye contact, but I had a girlfriend and didn't want to mess things up. It turns out that I still have my gf but I don't love her anymore, this chick that I really like is still there, but found herself a guy who's a jackass and doesn't treat her right. And everyday I feel like I should be with her, more every day.

Please, any advise is good.

Thanks

[sera300]

I think you need to take care of your own business first, meaning your current girlfriend. If you no longer love her, you owe it to her to tell her and end the relationship.

The one from work? Well, you work together--a bad mix. Who she wants to date is up to her. If she finds herself single later, and you are, then explore.

But you need to look how you are treating YOUR girlfriend, not how some guy is treating his girlfriend.

[yoe123]

thanks a lot, I've tried that, and just the look on my gf face of desperation and sadness with tears brake my heart and it makes it very difficult.

[sera300]

It's one of those things, regardless of how she feels, that you have to tell her no matter how much it is hurtful to both of you, mainly her. It's time to end it, and allow her time to heal and move on. There is an old saying "It's cruel to be kind" meaning sparing her feelings right now, out of not wanting to hurt her, is just causing more pain in the long run.

When you are both sitting face to face it's the most difficult because emotions run high, you may not love her but you do care. Time apart, after the deed is done, allows for a less emotional and a more rational approach to what has happened.

Trust me...been there.

[yoe123]

Will work on it, hopefuly will get positive results, but believe me is not the first time, and I truly don;t know how someone can love another person as much as she loves me. I don't deserve her, I know that, but I wish she didn't love me so much, that way it would be easier, it's just not the right girl for me.

[sera300]

That is what you say; I care for you & I know you love me BUT you are not the right woman for me. Stay firm on how you feel and don't give into the tears, you will hurt her more if you do.

I may have not liked what happened in relationships but in the long run have more respect for those who have been upfront with me and visa versa.

Good luck & do the right thing, it's hard.

[yoe123]

Thanks again, will try and work it out.

[yoe123]

Hey, I just broke it down to her, and is tearing her apart, she doesn't know what to do, since she used to dedicate most of her time to me, now she feels like there's no world for her, I'm worried sick about her, and don;t want her to do anything crazy, even though I don't think she will. The only thing she does is cry and try to see me somehow, I try to keep as much away from her as posible since seeing me won;t help her.

Advise please,

[sera300]

She needs time to begin a life of her own again....let her be. She needs time alone to do this....it takes a while, she needs to get with friends and to get back to her life.

She has made you her self-identity.

[yoe123]

It's been over a few weeks since I took your advise, and it has worked out great, at least for me. She's still depressed but I try to keep it away from me as much as possible, I'm already hurt as it is. Thanks for the advise and be good.