My Boyfriend Decided to become Celibate Without Telling Me First!

[MissyJ]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We don't have sex everyday, but we are pretty active. All of a sudden a few weeks passed by, and he would barely touch me. Then he decided to spring on me the fact that he wasn't going to have sex anymore. I don't mind him wanting to be celibate, but I think he should have discussed it with me first. I have needs too. Am I being unreasonable?

[sera300]

And he told you the reason? He does not like sex? Or he is going to be a Priest?

I think that would be my first question; why? He should have told you of his decision but he did not. Choice is yours now, what to do...

[eldiablo_si]

Well, I must say, that is a very bold thing to just come out of the blue with. Has he had any bad sexual experiences that you know of (i.e sexual abuse/rape)? If he has, maybe it comes up for him every time he gets intimate with you. I do agree with you that he should have consulted you first, but ultimately, it is his decision. Now you can either stay with him and respect that, or not... That is YOUR decision that you need to make. Don't flip flop though... Stick with what you decide.

[JenninTampa]

A paast boyfried did the same thing to --- though he never told me that he becoming celibate. He just stopped having sex with me (he was masturbating 2x a day to porn and only wanted doggy entry). Evenutally he made up some ridiculous story and dumped me three weeks after our wedding.

This a serious issue - don't sweep it under the rug like I did.

[Brandye]

Being presented with that pronunciamento, I would present my own: I am going to screw my way around the zodiac or somesuch.

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Being presented with that pronunciamento, I would present my own: I am going to screw my way around the zodiac or somesuch.

I've always admired a lady with "relaxed social morals" ...LOL

[EvilEvilKitten]

And he is still your boyfriend WHY? Kick this idiot to the curb and do it NOW!
'Relaxed social morals' PFFT! The guy made a unilateral decision that affected more than just himself. No discussion, so out he goes!

[Trying2BeAGooDBoyFriend]

Instead of being too... hasty maybe you should speak to him as to why he does not want to have sex anymore and become celibate. Perhaps there are some issues that he does not want out in the open for fear that it may hurt you or possibly himself. You won't know until you ask and according to other members of the board, (whom insist of dumping him no questions asked if you heed them) you won't have anything to lose besides your relationship that may have meant something to you. Sorry for the sarcasm...

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Trying2BeAGooDBoyFriend

Instead of being too... hasty maybe you should speak to him as to why he does not want to have sex anymore and become celibate. Perhaps there are some issues that he does not want out in the open for fear that it may hurt you or possibly himself. You won't know until you ask and according to other members of the board, (whom insist of dumping him no questions asked if you heed them) you won't have anything to lose besides your relationship that may have meant something to you. Sorry for the sarcasm...

It's not the issue of deciding to become celibate; it's that he never discussed his decision, or approached the issue, with her! It becomes a guessing game for her. You are not being sarcastic, you are just sharing your opinion!

[EvilEvilKitten]

As are those of us who say 'dump him'. One good unilateral decision deserves another!