issue with her having more previous partners ...

[kon]

hi ppl

new to this board and i just wanted any help or tips regarding my dilemma. now i know it may seem as not really being one and i should just 4get it which believe i would like to do cos i think to an extent it is pointless ( as is in past) and i do really like this girl but i just cant seem to get it out my head.

its basically case of my current gf having been with more previous than me like she s been with 7 guys she s 18 and i ve been with 2 and am 22..

i dont know why i keep thinking about it maybe i think its dwn to me thinking i wont be able to satisfy her up to standards she may have drawn upon from having been with 7 diff guys or maybe its the fact that she s found it so easy just to jump into bed frequently with numerous guys that it could quite easily happen again.

its all probably just stupid talk but any advice would be gr8 pls i need to really just stop thinking about it cos after all the past is just that.

ps she has told me how she truly regrets her past ...

thanks

[sera300]

You have to let the past be just that and judging her based on how many partners she has had is not fair, nor is it an indicator of her present or future relationships. The fact is you don't know the particular situations of those relationships.

As far as comparing her past to yours; it's you own insecurity which is eating you away, not feeling as if you may be good enough. If you like each other, enjoy, stop the concerns...it's a non-issue.

As far as her "regretting" her past; why? Because it makes you feel lousy?

[HardNgood]

She's with YOU now...so just hang on and enjoy the ride

[Brandye]

The problem is in your head. If there is anything to be done, you have to do it. There are more pasts here about people being hung up with their partner's past that I cannot believe. Starting with beyond the assumption that we each have a past, why dig deeper - assuming disease is not involved.

[madeye]

yeah all you need to know is that she is healthy and happy in bed with you.

Maybe someone had a bigger penis, maybe someone had better endurance, maybe someone gave her more orgasms, maybe someone ruined a good thing cause he began to care more about her past than what she was willingly offering him in the future.

The older you get the worst this gets.

im dating a women who is 23 and has had plenty of sexual experience, and even one experience with a women.

Naturally i do occasionally wonder how i stack up, and i keep it to myself cause i want to respect her agenda to be sleeping with me instead of all those guys in the past.

maybe im not the best shes ever had, and well i definitely not worried that im the worst. Really its all relative to the time frame and the relationship and affection for each other should make past sexual experience (good or bad) trivial.

so yeah its natural to ask yourself these questions, were naturally insecure especially at younger ages. Its just something you cant expect her to help you deal with. Just fight it and keep it to yourself and focus on the present.

[Sadfase]

I have a friend who just turned 21 and she's been with 35 different men (this does not include me)

I can't imagine the circumstances of which she -your girlfriend- encountered these men/boys hopefully they were all consensual. Cos at least this way one thing I've learned, a woman with a healthy sexual past is actually a little easier to please because there's better communication in bed. I have no problem being told what to do.

DO NOT make her feel bad about being with other guys. You should NEVER EVER ask her compare you to guys in the past because she will lie to make you feel good. This girl is with you now. Not them.

[kon]

thanks for all the advice guys i really appreciate it

guess it is all in my head and i need to get over it cos she keeps telling me if u ever think of my past just know that i regret it and if i knew u would be comin in my life then i would definately waited for you!!

think that says it all maybe

[sera300]

Okay, believe it or not we really do not compare you to our previous partners. What we tend to remember were some memorable sex times, not how great x was or y was. As we remember those really great sex experiences with you. If we really think our ex did something wonderful, we do show you what we like, it's not that we are pondering how great he was.

Sex in a relationship is an overall experience, how you are sexually and what you are to us emotionally...it's the whole package. Now as for the ex's we are not with them anymore for a good reason. All we care about is the here or now, we don't rank you as to who was better who had the biggest penis, etc.

I believe men tend to think this way, wondering about the ex, because you remember the hottest chick you had or who had the biggest boobs, we really don't do a comparative analysis, we are happy in the here an now.

So all of this wondering is a waste of time, and energy for you all!

[Old Kid]

Originally Posted by kon

thanks for all the advice guys i really appreciate it

guess it is all in my head and i need to get over it cos she keeps telling me if u ever think of my past just know that i regret it and if i knew u would be comin in my life then i would definately waited for you!!

think that says it all maybe

That says it all. Look at it this way, If any of them were that great, she would still be with them. I know this is a sex site but there's a lot more that attracts people to each other than jumping in the sack. My GF always tells me how great I am in bed but I know that's not the only reason she's with me. Her ex, no mater how he was in bed, was unattentive, irresponsible and bassically a jerk. When we first got together she told her friends "Oh my gawd, and he cooks too!" LOL

[sera300]

That sums it up in a very thruthful way Old Kid...