Hard times - she won't start anything

[fatguyinaspeedo]

I have been dating a girl for about two months. Recently she came on very hard times. Now the relationship is going sour.......quickly!

Any affection i show her goes unnoticed or hardly appreciated.

Before this all started, i felt she really needed to "return the favors".
such as massages......i absolutly love massages! When she was stressed i would give her a full body massage, but i never got that in return.....ever!

now that hard times are here, i aint getting nothing at all. it seems like shes trying, but its getting really cold between us.

is a break needed, or maybe she just aint the girl for me?

[RollTide10]

Well have you asked for anything in return ? That has happened to me with my girlfriend maybe you just need to spice things up . I did and now were BOTH very happy .

[Pink_Sparkles]

It shouldn't be like who's doing what to each other if you really love each other she'll come around and help you out. You shouldn't let this stress you out. If you began to push her into thing's she doesnt want to do she'll end up moving futher apart of you I'm speaking from experince, Me and my boyfriend four months pretty much called it quits i've been through this and i understand her give her some space and stop making her do thing's she may not want to do.

[EvilEvilKitten]

She's fallen on hard times and YOU want HER attention? Sorry, guy , but the lady has other things on her mind. Ease up.

[fatguyinaspeedo]

i stand corrected & embaressed

[madeye]

na dude, you came here and asked about the situation

which shows you have some intuition that was telling you something wasn't right and you had enough courage to ask a question.

As long as your open and communicative your not making mistakes, only learning lessons.

a lot of other guys would have too much pride and assume or reacted the improper way.

Just the fact that you were able to reply and admit your perspective was flawed makes you a better man than most.

No worries mate.

[fatguyinaspeedo]

Thanks for not smearing my face in the mud. honestly i was kinda bummed about the other two responses. Not that they dont hold any truth to them.....but yea, it was a question because i didnt want to be a dick to her, im just not understanding whats going on. I was starting to think maybe i was just a dumb a-hole.

Relationships can be a tricky thing. with ours, this whole thing came about at time when the relationship was very new to us.

When i said she dosent give me any attension, it was more like, i was trying my best, to be there for her, lift her spirits, and stuff like that......but i wasnt getting any response that it was doing any good for her. I wrote funny/romantic poems, made pics for computer, helped with what was going on.....anything i could think of, but she just kept getting colder.

I wrote her tonite, and told her i understand if she needs a break, i dont know whats shes thinking, we havent talked openly in awhile.......so we will see.

[fatguyinaspeedo]

Thanks for not smearing my face in the mud. honestly i was kinda bummed about the other two responses. Not that they dont hold any truth to them.....but yea, it was a question because i didnt want to be a dick to her, im just not understanding whats going on. I was starting to think maybe i was just a dumb a-hole.

Relationships can be a tricky thing. with ours, this whole thing came about at time when the relationship was very new to us.

When i said she dosent give me any attension, it was more like, i was trying my best, to be there for her, lift her spirits, and stuff like that......but i wasnt getting any response that it was doing any good for her. I wrote funny/romantic poems, made pics for computer, helped with what was going on.....anything i could think of, but she just kept getting colder.

I wrote her tonite, and told her i understand if she needs a break, i dont know whats shes thinking, we havent talked openly in awhile.......so we will see.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Just being there is often enough. "They also serve who only stand and wait."

[madeye]

Keep in mind quanity of affection does not equal quality of affection.

Be genuine about your efforts

Any time someone comes off as try hard its natural to question their agenda.

Like Evilevilkitten said you just need to be there, make sure she feels she not alone.

all your romatic efforts can just put pressure on her to have a romantic reaction. Depending on whats going she may not be ready to feel lovey dovey.

So if what your doing is not working try toning down the lovey dovey efforts instead of amping it up.