don't want to come across as "clingy"

[skipgirl]

there is this new great guy in my life, and i just got out of an amazing 8 month relationship that ended with me heartbroken, and then this guy showed up and has totally eased my heartache. he is a lot older, i'm 19 he's 25, and he lives kinda far so we've only seen each other a couple times, but we talk all the time online and call and txt. this has been going on since january, but recently he's been kinda distant. we're not chattin as much and whenever we do i always initiate it. i always say i don't want to annoy him if he's busy, and he always says that i never annoy him...i just am afraid that i'm gonna come across as clingy. guys always use that term with me "clingy" even though i give guys soo much space. i just don't want him to start backing away if i start asking him if we could hang out more. i don't want anything serious, i just want to have fun, but i'm just afraid that i'm coming across as clingy...some thoughts would be great.

[mcsgirl]

clingyness took me a while to get over too

i jus learned that if i had any doubt about what i was doing i didn't do it

if that meant not calling i didn't call - if he wanted to talk to me he can call ME

and if he says you're not annoying him - then you're not annoying him - asking him repeatedly WILL annoy him tho

[Ratach]

:PERSONAL PREFERENCE: I love clingy, and I know there are some guys out there that do too. Without knowing him, I can't say if he is one of those people or not.

Try this, dont call him for a couple of weeks, and when he calls you, respond in a totally cavalier manner. Something like, "Oh, I just was busy, that's all..."

If he doesn't call, he wasn't really interested. If he does call, he probably wants to keep the relationship going.

[sera300]

The only contact he has w/you now is if you initiate it? Don't call, IM, or e-mail him. If he contacts you wait to respond (don't jump); just say " I've been busy".

Either he has lost interest, or is on to someone else. All in all, I would tend to blow him off...if he wants to see you and it fits in you plans, great;otherwise, don't bother.

Remember you just got out of a long-term relationship, give yourself sometime and just go out and have some fun.

[Lemonade]

I think I have the same problem... there is so much love and tenderness I have inside and it is natural for me to want to share it all the time. My man also says that I am not annoying him, and couple of times even said that he likes it when I'm kinda clingy. BUT... at the same time I feel him distancing away from me...

[Sirene]

Originally Posted by Ratach

:PERSONAL PREFERENCE: I love clingy, and I know there are some guys out there that do too. Without knowing him, I can't say if he is one of those people or not.

Try this, dont call him for a couple of weeks, and when he calls you, respond in a totally cavalier manner. Something like, "Oh, I just was busy, that's all..."

If he doesn't call, he wasn't really interested. If he does call, he probably wants to keep the relationship going.

I like clingy girls too. It just shows that they care & want you.

[skipgirl]

Originally Posted by Lemonade

I think I have the same problem... there is so much love and tenderness I have inside and it is natural for me to want to share it all the time. My man also says that I am not annoying him, and couple of times even said that he likes it when I'm kinda clingy. BUT... at the same time I feel him distancing away from me...

thats exactly how i feel....i just think he's at the point where he feels he doesn't have to pursue me as much...now he's bein just his normal guy self, lol...who knows, i'll just try to wait for him to contact me...hopefully soon lol

[madeye]

I dont like clingy cause then i question if they are really interested in me or if they are just interested in the security of a bf.

some peopl just struggle with the idea of being single, and i dont want to be a trial bf.

I like to openly date and keep things casual until both parties have earned each others profound affection.

I actually prefer to not be the only person a women is interested in during the dating stages.

So i would let him call you like said before me.

and let him suggest dates/hang outs the first few times.

If things are going good at that point it is flattering to show mild clingyness and you call him and setup a date after going on his.

keep it creative, keep it fun.

find a way to not have a fear of loss cause you never want your partner to feel like you think you have more to lose than they do. You should both feel that you both have an equal amount to lose and gain.
This is the danger of clingyness, if your going to be clingy you have to do it in a fearless way.

[Sadfase]

I am sort of in a Long Distance-esque relationship with a girl. Her and I are busy with work and school. We both Play WoW so that helps a lot (good bonding time) and we manage to meet up during scattered parts of the weeks and on weekends. We live kinda far apart but we call each other WAY too much.

ANYWAY the point is. if he is interested He will call you. I call my girl and she calls me. Sometimes I'll be the one calling all day and sometimes its her. Sometimes we won't talk for a couple days. However if you've noticed like a steady decline in your interaction I would say start looking elsewhere. If he gets in touch with you hooray! But if he doesn't you'll hopefully already have found someone else.

Of course you just got out of a huge relationship! Go out! Meet some new people! Being single is sweet, spread your love to your friends and family. The right guy will find you if you put out a positive vibe.