no orgasm...

[sea_lady]

We are about 7 months together. I`m his lover and I`m crazy for him. I enjoy sex but I have a problem... I cannot relax enough and experience orgasm. My ex told me that I have to forget about everything and just relax... and that the most important thing in sex for men is that woman enjoys. I would like that but I just can`t. I am affraid that he will leave me. That I`m no good in sex. Only thing I`m good at is blow job (surely). Did you have problem like mine, and how did you work it out? thanks.

[Ephemera]

It sounds like you're focusing too much on pleasing him.

Be more selfish, maybe close your eyes during intercourse and try to focus only on the pleasure-- if something he does feels good, tell him so. If you want it faster or slower, or harder and deeper, tell him so. Make him do what you want and he'll be very happy to oblige...

But, I think a women's response to this would be better.

[EvilEvilKitten]

He will leave you if you enjoy sex with him??? NO HE WON'T. He's telling you the truth - men enjoy sexually pleasing women. Your orgasms are proof of his sexual prowess after all. Part of being good in bed is pleasing your partner, if you please by being pleased - excellent!! Stop worrying and get into it. Relax, take a deep breath and let yourself feel. Express how you feel. Show him how you feel. GIVE to him AND TAKE from him. For practice, when he's not available, masturbate while thinking of him and of doing this or that with him and orgasm while doing so.

[Gyre]

Judging by what I've read elsewhere around here, it might help alot if he'd warm you up through fingering/cunnilingus. The way I understand it (someone please correct me if I'm wrong), having thus experienced an orgasm BEFORE sex (assuming he can pull that off), the clitoris would then become more sensitive, which (possibly after allowing an interval to pass, for SOME of the sensitivity to fade) would make it easier to experience an orgasm through the indirect stimulation provided by vaginal sex.
The experience should also prove very arousing for him, since (in my opinion) the sounds some females make around the point of orgasm are the most arousing sounds any male will ever hear.

[Brandye]

A quarter of all women never experience orgasm and half of us require stimulation other than penetration and thrusting. You need to teach yourself how to have orgasm through self-pleasuring. Once you know what you are looking for, the likelihood of having an orgasm with him increases.

Do not give up. I have known women in their thirties (one who was 54) experience their first orgasms. Teach yourself and then teach him.