An insecurity or a problem?

[Expressionless]

Hi all! First off i'll let you know that Kyle and I have been dating for seven months (known eachother 6years.) Anyways so hes my real first relationship, i've had boyfriends before but not a relationship. I'd just like to ask you all what respectable behaviour for guys is. What im saying is when he's with other females. I know guys flirt when they arent with their girlfriends, but do you guys do it really that much? Should I give him **** or anything for flirting all the time? Im a very jelous person by nature, but I hide it and ignore many comments. So question for the guys, do you flirt a lot when your girlfriends arent around? If yes (which most will say yes lol) is it ever extreme flirting where you could be almost considered cheating? Possibly saying you dont have a girlfriend. I know all guys are different and many will flirt more than others.
So am I just being over jelous and insecure? Should I just relax and trust that he wont just cheat on me. As I stated this is my first relationship, and im keeping him at a distance because I dont trust that he really likes me that much. (Which is untrue.) He's just given me a promise ring, a week or so ago. Should I just take a chill pill? Comments please

[sera300]

I have to say it's being over-jealous & insecure. People flirt, it depends on the extreme which it's taken to. Meaning if one is flirting to "hook-up" then you need to reconsider the relationship. But harmless flirting, don't concern yourself w/it. I watch my brother, who's married & he's the biggest flirt I know but to him it's almost a sport. Is he going to hook-up w/another? Doubt it. Men & women flirt, it's kind of a way we still feel attractive to members of the other sex, does not mean there are any intentions, but being respectful of your partner is also a must.

[Ephemera]

Hi,

I too am a very jealous partner. It does bother me sometimes to hear when my girlfriend is going to go hang out with a group of guys, even though I know they're just friends. It bothers me when she's nice to other people and they might take it as her being interested.

It's important to let these feelings sort of die. There's always going to be someone interested in your partner. The best thing you can do is be loving to your partner, and he will likely respond and become more infatuated with you. It takes two to make a relationship-- instead of worrying about those other girls, just think about how you make him feel when you're together.

If his flirting gets out of hand, maybe talk to him about it. But don't accuse him of anything, because (I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt,) he probably hasn't done anything. Communication is key, if something is bothering you, talk about it in a mature, calm way.

Good luck.

[Expressionless]

Thanks guys. He said he hasnt acted on any of it yet (which I beleive him.) But one comment he made concerns me a bit. He went to the Domican Republic for a week, where a drunk (very drunk) girl asked to have sex with him. He is 20 and the girl was 16. Apparenntly she was very attractive, and had she been older he probably would have taken her up on it. Those were his words. So either A. he really would have, and would have lost me. Or B. He was just teasing me. Or C. Something completly different.

[girl12]

If he is talking to you about how he may have had sex with a girl while he was with you, his level of respect needs to be examined. Just make sure you are aware of the situation.

[sera300]

I would tend to think he was teasing you...if he wanted to do it he would have...

[Expressionless]

Thanks guys. I'm going to assume he was teasing me just for my own sanity. But I of course will be cautious and hope I can read any signs of him cheating. Thanks for the comments guys.

[sera300]

Why would he say that unless it was a tease? Just to hurt you? Doubt it. Don't sweat it!!! Just be happy and enjoy life.

[EvilEvilKitten]

And you are jealous why? What purpose does it serve other than making you miserable and suspicious? Stop it. There is no one else like you on the planet so you have no real rivals. Try trusting first. If he cheats, then you can deal with that then. But until then, stop wasting your time and energy. He told you that as proof that you can trust him. But you still don't. He knows it. This relationship won't last because he can feel you watching his every move for signs that his interest may be straying. "Did he look at that girl nanoseconds too long?" "He smiled at her - does that men he'll drop me next week?"

Who can live with that? Would you enjoy having your every move subjected to such scrutiny? Every phone call reviewed? If you were interrogated over every conversation you had?

No, of course you wouldn't. So stop dishing it out.

[Old Kid]

I would agree with everything said and would add that perhaps as time goes by you will get to know each other better. 7 months isn't really that long. My GF is very outgoing and bubbly. She is also very pretty and when we go out it's not unusual for guys to flirt with her. She likes to call everyone baby and says I love you to all her friends male & female. At first it used to bug me but I've come to realize it's just her personallity. To her it's just a phrase like saying see you later or take care. Now that we've been together for a while, I try to look at it as a compliment when I sense a guy hitting on her cause I know that I'm the one she's going home with.