Unsure about this girl

[Queens4Ever]

I have known the girl I'm dating for a few years now and we both have so much in common. She is a lot of fun and we get along great. We started dating recently and everything has been wonderful. The thing I am worried is that she has been with many many guys before me and was known for being a slut when we were in college together. She has never cheated on me but all my friends tell me that it looks bad for me that I am dating her. But they all agree that she is nice and treats me well. I have had only a few girls before her and no serious relationships. I haven't brought it up to her how I feel because I have no idea how she will take it, or even how to bring it up. I agree with my friends that she was quite the shacker back in school, and that it is surprising that someone like myself would be with a girl like her. Do I have reason to be able to trust this girl? What are your thoughts on my situation? Thanks everyone!

[sera300]

SO you enjoy her company, you get along well. And you want to make problems for what reason? Because everything is going well? The past IS the past. Move beyond it, and tell your friends to keep those comments to themselves if you have any respect for her. No, you don't bring her past up and you don't discuss yours...it's not relivant. And based on her past, you wonder if you can trust her? Wrong approach. If she treats you well & she is really nice and respectful of you...don't make issues. You are being insecure. Accept her for the woman she is w/you...

[demonbuttercup]

A lot of girls have "wild" days back in High School and college.... some continue their ways, others decide that is an empty way to live, and try to focus on one person and have an actual relationship.

I agree w/ Sera, don't make issues where there isn't any. If she hasn't given you personally any reason not to trust her...then don't doubt her.

You have already labeled her by saying "a girl like her"... a girl like what??
I mean you must like her as a person..or you wouldn't be w/ her.

Don't let insecurities ruin a good thing....that seems to be the hot topic around here lately huh??

[sera300]

Agreed Demon about the insecurity thing!!! I think someone should do a sticky on insecurity & control.

[Queens4Ever]

You are both right that I am insecure about the situation and when I said a girl, i guess i meant a girl like she was. And WAS is a very big word. I guess I am really wondering if you think that I will be able to get over my insecurities or have I already labeled the situation as a bust in my mind.

[ChiliPepper]

Not only that, but often, rumors WILDLY exaggerate the truth about someone. Alot of what you and your friends have heard, may not actually be the truth.

I have to say gossip is often so grossly blown out of proportion... and she may simply be suffering from a bad rep for no reason.

EVEN IF she has been with other men, your only concern is to use protection, which you should regardless of your partners past. You cannot hold a persons prior choices against them if they seem to be treating you well, and you enjoy the company.

Why should anyone suffer for a past decision? I dont think anyone here, or you, or your friends are perfect, and never made a bad choice. SO... enjoy your time with her, and let the past go.

[sera300]

It will be what YOU make it. First, the past is the past...no discussion. When your buddies bring it up, tell them although you value their input, you would appreciate them keeping the opinion to themselves. As far as you, who cares what she used to do, focus on how she is to you & how you feel about her. Stay in the here & now.

[HardNgood]

Some how you have to close that dreadful door called "THE PAST",and treasure what you have now. In saying that,remember that some people change and lots don't...just hope for the first. You can't change people, only they can change themselves.

[demonbuttercup]

I think Brandye had said one time...that the older you get, the less likely it'll be that you find someone who doesn't have a "past".
It's been said, you can't change the past, and if you like that person for who they are now in the present, their past is what molded them into that person.
Who's to say that if she had a different past, she'd even be a girl that you like.

[Newtolove]

Originally Posted by ChiliPepper

Not only that, but often, rumors WILDLY exaggerate the truth about someone. Alot of what you and your friends have heard, may not actually be the truth.

I have to say gossip is often so grossly blown out of proportion... and she may simply be suffering from a bad rep for no reason.

Very true I just can't begin to think of the things people say about me