Insecure

[Sirene]

I'm sick of hearing people say "Dump them & move on" about an insecure partner. Many many people are insecure, it is not their fault.

If you like them you will help them, you will comfort them. Not just ditch them & move on to a more secure person.

Insucure people aren't all that bad, & they're deffo not worth dumping just like that when they haven't done anything directly wrong.
You can't expect to meet a perfect partner, we all have our faults.
You have to work at them to make it a good relationship.

Don't just dump someone because they're insecure.

[mishsa]

yeah everyone on here told me to dump my AMAZING guy because he was insecure. HEck no im not gona dump him.

He is the best thing that has happend to me, and we are working on the insecurities, caus they are things that he shouldnt be insecure about!!!!!

[ChiliPepper]

Sometimes an insecure person can become an amazing partner and lover... however, IF that persons insecurity is damaging your relationship, or making your life unhappy - its not worth it.

But, if you can take someone who is insecure and help them boost their confidence, and understand that they are loved, regardless of their faults and flaws - lets face it, we all have them - then, its a wonderful thing!

[Old Kid]

I think it depends on each situation and the individuals involved. Bottom line is we all need/want to be happy. You are right, no one's perfect. The best we can hope for is someone with more good points than bad that also makes us happy. Obviously we all look for different qualitys in a mate. You can see that from reading some of the polls & posts on here. Trying to change another persons behavior to suit your tastes can be a very frustrating experiance. I think if someone ceases to make you happy to be with them and you are misserable, then the move on advise is appropriate. Maybe it's just me but most of the posts adviseing "dumping" seem more dirrected at people who are generally unhappy with thier relationship for one reason or the other. Lets face it, if they were happy, they wouldn't be on here complaining about it. Haveing said all that, it's far easier to tell someone else to end a relationship than to do it yourself. Like that with most things in life.

[madeye]

i dont think anyone would should take direct advice like that from here.

This should be a place for people to find different perspectives and here about other peoples relationship experience to try and see things at a different light.

The hardest part about relationships is the always evolving variables. you can never predict what hardships will come.

but you can gain information and perspective.

insecurity is a major factor, cause were all naturally insecure at some level, and when we encounter a new situation that we have never encountered are insecurities may tell us to assume the worst cause thats all we can understand.

that is where a message forum like this comes in handy.

I have alot of experience dealing with an insecure partner (5 yr relationship!)

and no matter how many times you compliment her/him or tell her she is beautiful it just wont change until she believes it herself. as a matter of fact from my experience i think my compliments just made it worse.

all you can do is determine if her level of insecurity affects your quality of life so badly that you cant maintain a happy relationship.... then and only then should you start considering seeing other people.

an insecure partner is very hard to deal with, all you can do is support him/her and make sure they know they are not alone and we every one feels insecure and keep presenting opportunities for that person to decide feeling negative is just not worth it.

[Sirene]

Im going out with the most insecure girl i've ever known & i wouldnt change it for the world. She's brilliant & we both love each other very much.
Because I love her im willing to support her.

[Newtolove]

insecurity can probably be overcome by a supportive lover

[EvilEvilKitten]

It depends upon whether you want lovers, not patients.
Having your choices laid out in a stark manner also tends to make you act, to actually do something, instead of sitting there at your keyboard complaining.

[Newtolove]

it also depends on the person many people are willing to be patient and help someone almost everybody has insecurity's of some kind

[EvilEvilKitten]

To a point, yes, but only to a point. Where that is, is for you to decide. The best way to deal with any insecurity, another word for fear, is to face it head-on with the goal of conquest over it. Have you courage or are you still hiding under the covers?