Don't want to seem to eager

[eliot09]

I tend to get really nervous when it comes to this sort of thing and I wanted get some other opinions on it. I attend college and there is this girl who sits a few seats infront of me who I have not gathered the courage to talk to her yet. She seems nice and is not out of my ball park. Well I have been rehearsing it for a few days and and was thinking about introducing myself to her before or after class, and if she appears interested maybe invite her to get a cup of coffee. And if she agrees to that should I complement her at all or would that make it seem like im coming on too strong? I'm not really looking for sex, though i wouldn't mind it, just a girl to talk to. Hope you guys can help

[madeye]

FIRSTLY DUDE never ever say or think "she is out of my ball park" every women is in your ball park all the time, you just need to know how to properly get her interested in the tickets.

here are some of my personal attraction building/testing tips:

Use your smile, make sure you have a good smile, not creepy large just make sure you look like a happy person

When you approach do it confidently dont hesitate and dont be all super friendly and introductory. Ask her for an opinion on something that happened in the class. If she is wearing a piece of jewelry or article of clothing the ask about those. "hey, those are some crazy lookin boots". for some reason its always more attractive if you peek her interest and comfort with your presance before you exchange names.

so find a way to approach without the introduction. cause its just gonna sound rehearsed. Nothing should ever be rehearsed.

Then once you engange in the conversation make good eye contact. and as your eye contact.

dont compliment her on something that isnt profoundly unique. avoid complimenting her eyes or her attractiveness. Instead give her an authentic clompliment that fits like "you have a unique dialect, where are you from?" for example.

the idea is to make sure she is comfortable and get her talking about her self. each time she says something about herself you will get a window to ask her for more information.

do this while making eye contact and all the sudden she may find you attractive and then she will decide to flip the situation and she will then ask you what your name is.

at that point she will start to voluntarily inquire your information about you then she is giving you a green light to flirt with her. after that point when you agree with her touch her arm and smile. or if you disagree or she gives you **** about something give her a playfull nudge on the shoulder. if she flirts back its a sign, if she doesnt flirt back but i still maintaining eye contact your still good, some women are just shy but you have to observe her state of mind by paying attention to eye contact.

Basically if you follow the structure of confidently comfortable giving her the opportunity to find you attractive she will then give you the opportunity to hit on her and build that attraction more.

You cant steam roll a women into liking you with advances as direct and bold as "hi whats your name" "want coffee" you need more of a less intrusive comfort building strategy. when you approach a women like that she sense an agenda and expectations. not saying it never works, just saying theres a better way

when your social game clicks and things go well and you have attraction + comfort give her the opportunity to tell you how she would like to be contacted.

my favorite closing line is anything along these lines (i try to mix it up but its always structured the same

"Hey this has been fun! i gotta go and you know i hate wasting opportunities we should talk again"

so first of all you decide when the interaction is over first, when some women are attracted to a guy they will let the convo drag until its awkward and you have to avoid that.

then you present the situation as an opportunity, opportunities seem much more simple and creates less pressure than the idea of asking for a coffee date. and you also give her an opportunity to flake cause she can just respond with yeah "Yeah i hope to see you again" in that case your free from wasting time on this women.

and most importantly you give her the power of deciding whats the most comfortable way to chat again via phone email aim coffee party bar library exct.......

and my most important tip: be talking to more than one girl, dont become infatuated with one women, you see an attractive women you find a way to talk to her right then and there. you dont rehearse or wait. find a way to take advantage of talking to a women who seems interesting.

cause some women wont find you attractive, some women will be interested and then flake the next day, and some women will be very excited to get to know you. you cant really tell and you dont want to limit yourself and put all your eggs in one baskett