He doesnt believe me. HELP ASAP!!!!

[mishsa]

So ive been dating this guy for 2 months now and weve started having sex. AND ITS AMAZING..its really good and its usually 4 times a day. So anyway, ive been with 2 previous partners, both of which sucked. My boyf now is really good and for some reason he doesnt believe me when i say he is. Or when i say how good it was. he always say, WHY DONT YOU LIKE HAVING SEX WITH ME..or IM NOT DOING IT RIGHT!!!

then last night we were doing it for a while, i orgasmed and then for some reason went a little dry down there. but was turned on by him still..so now he said, WOW I CANT EVEN KEEP MY GIRLF WET.

I DO..so my question is, how the hell do i get him to believe me that sex feels good, caus im scared hes not gonna wanna have sex and i definelty dont want that.

Please help me someone..

[SexySass69]

There seems to be a confidence issue present there. It appears to me that he's looking for things to be wrong. Perhaps you should ask him why he doesn't believe you when you express how much you enjoy sex with him. My other suggestion is a bit sarcastic and probably wouldn't help (not many men would find it funny if you were to stop expressing pleasure and start saying knocking their performance, but maybe reverse psychology would work).

Best wishes and happy humping, Mishsa.

[Raidenator]

Looks to me like your man is a bit paranoid/inconfident. Being a guy I understand where he's coming from. I often feel...inadequate with my girlfriend for really no reason at all. She, like you, has told me that I'm great and w/e but it's still hard to believe sometimes. It's just that all men are very self concious about their sexual ability. Just make sure to tell him that he's good like you have been and it should go over just fine, You gotta give it a little bit of time for it to sink in.

Also, I seriously doubt he's going to wanna stop having sex with you, no matter how bad he thinks he is.

P.S. I should have mentioned this earlier, but it would be good to somehow indicate that your having an orgasm with him. In general guys can't tell when a girl is, so you should find a way to "tell" him that you are. My girlfriend will grab me really tight and breathe very quickly etc. Eventually I learned that this was her orgasm'ing and it helped me to feel better about my sexual apptitude because I knew that I was getting her off. Find a way to do the same.

[dancingdoc2]

The lad either has a self defeatist attitude or is trying to do a head trip on you. If the former, this is primarily the result of his insecurities; if the latter, the end result is usually a turnabout which affects him more than you in the end.

My suggestion is for you to stop (temporarily at least) giving him compliments and to simply enjoy the experiences. Rather than comment on his prowess, just get into the moment(s) and if you feel like squirming, moaning, oohing and awing, smiling, squeezing your hand on him, rubbing an area faster and faster as you become more turned on by something; or whatever, then do it. As the saying goes: "a picture is worth ten thousand words", so seeing you in rapture and ecstacy over time should get the message across to him that he is doing well and all is well with you. Ya see, if you do not give him any information upon which to comment, he can't. If you give him lots of positive visual imagery and physical responses like squeezing an arm, butt cheek, calf; or rubbing faster and faster, then these responses of yours should convey a very positive albeit silent message for him to mull over.

Now for the cons: If this guy of yours decides for whatever stupid reason to comment negatively on your responses saying for example that one or more of your reactions are fake or just an act, then this guy has serious hangups that you probably cannot fix. You can therefore choose to wait it out a while to see if he matures with experience; or, you can cut your losses and move on in order to find someone more well rounded. If things do go this far, and before you end the relationship, give him one final chance to turn his act around by sitting him down and telling him that your loving making is real, your reactions and responses to what he is doing is real, and that his abilities are and continue to be fantastic and right on target--and that if he cannot now believe you then you are going to have to call a hault to the relationship and move on. Let him think about your words for a day or two and then ask him for his response. His answer will guide your next move.

A very important lesson for a guy to learn as he is growing up and maturing is to believe what you say. If he cannot or is unwilling to, then the relationship as a whole will continue to have serious trust issues that can be a deal breaker.

[mishsa]

Omgosh, thank you sooo much guys..so much help
im hoping that this is gonna work, caus i defintly dont want to end this, caus im head over heels for this guy.
he is not small by any means and thats another thing he says, that he knows why i dont enjoy it, caus he is too small..

UGHHHH this is soo frustrating caus i love having sex with him sooo much..

[CoyotePrince]

I know where hes coming from, I've had this issue with my GF at one point when we 1st started having sex, but for us it was in the end of sex she would laugh like a crazy women. I thought that this was always because of my performance, but before these outbursts I always felt confident in my abilities. In any case I started to feel inadequate, and I tried keeping it to myself, but of course I put off the vibe that something was wrong whenever we had sex. And then it really did start to get worse and worse. It wasn't until one time she started giggling madly again, I bluntly told her that this laughing thing makes me feel like i'm so awful in bed, that its laughable. lol Anyways she looked at me like I was crazy and explained, she laughs cause it feels so good, and that some women moan real loud, others scratch and sometimes others giggle. I realized I was being silly and ever since we both laugh and smile after sex. Not sure how this story helps, but communication, without negitivity goes a long way. Laughing with each helps too

[demonbuttercup]

This would get old fast... I mean we all want validation that what we do is satisfactory.. whether its at our job, or in the bedroom.

But it can get to the point that you will start thinking... why do I bother to "reward" him... he won't belive me anyhow.
I agree w/ Docs approach... Try more subtle but physical signs that you are enjoying yourself.


What is his tone when he says these things? Whiney? negative? has he ever been hateful or rude when he says it?

[mishsa]

its not so much whiney, its kinda like over it..
he says that i just lay there..but i dont, i mean i moan my hips move.i mean im wet down there..im telling him he is good..and still i get,
you hate when i go down on you?

i love him soooo much and i dont wanna break up, so thats not even an option..but its just soo fricken frustrating, caus now he wants to cut down the amount of sex we have.he is scared im gonna get bored..but everytime we do it, i orgasm and it feels amazing..

he then went on to say that other girls acted differently..blah blah when he went down on them.and i explained all girls orgasm differently. DUH..but he just doesnt get it.

he said once " at least my ex enjoyed it"

and i ****en enjoy it..so its just soo frustrating..

[sera300]

Why are you allowing this guy to control the situation so much? It's manipulation, you are allowing him to make you feel badly. You are not acting the way he wants, you are not feeling what you are saying to him (i.e. you really are not enjoying despite you say you love it), your not acting the way his ex did, and now he is going to control how much/frequency of how much sex you both have? He is the one w/the issue. Take back some control yourself, you set some of the terms of sexual frequency, it's not just something he will do when he wants it--what you want too. I think he is playing some very wierd game w/you.

[HardNgood]

sure is scary when people use sex as a control thing. that is totally f**ked up unless you are paying extra for that