:( opinions please!!!

[lllshannonlll]

Hey everyone! I need advice! I want to know if this guy actually likes me or if he's just wanting sex. He is my good friends best friend....so we hang out quite a bit. We've known each other for about 2 months. A few weeks after we met we kind of hooked up, just making out n whatnot...and then nothing happened for a few weeks. We hung out more (in groups with friends) and then one night I ended up staying at his house. We didn't have sex, but did other things....Since then he seems the same, wanting to dance with me/hold my hand etc....hasnt tried to get me to sleep over again tho (one weekend has passed). There are a lot of other details that i'll leave out for now...if you need more then let me know but i dont want to make this so long that nobody wants to read it! lol...Mainly my question is.....is there any way that he would want to start an actual relationship with me when i have already done sexual stuff with him before we were dating? I feel like i've wrecked my chances

[sera300]

I know a few couples who began as FWB & turned out to be a couple & still together 2-3 years later.

[Quint Notwen]

Originally Posted by lllshannonlll

Hey everyone! I need advice! I want to know if this guy actually likes me or if he's just wanting sex. He is my good friends best friend....so we hang out quite a bit. We've known each other for about 2 months. A few weeks after we met we kind of hooked up, just making out n whatnot...and then nothing happened for a few weeks. We hung out more (in groups with friends) and then one night I ended up staying at his house. We didn't have sex, but did other things....Since then he seems the same, wanting to dance with me/hold my hand etc....hasnt tried to get me to sleep over again tho (one weekend has passed). There are a lot of other details that i'll leave out for now...if you need more then let me know but i dont want to make this so long that nobody wants to read it! lol...Mainly my question is.....is there any way that he would want to start an actual relationship with me when i have already done sexual stuff with him before we were dating? I feel like i've wrecked my chances

So rather than pouncing you and jumping your bones, he's being slow and considerate? He may or may not be interested in you. Have you asked him how he feels about you? Or rather asked him how he felt about the 'sexual stuff' from oh that so long time ago? It could be that he felt things happened too fast, and is backtracking a bit to slow things down to controllable levels, or rather things happened too fast and afterwards decided you weren't compatible in his mind (though I doubt it due to his behavior...can never be sure though).

Really there is one of two or three things you can do, ask him directly/tell him to sh*t or get off the pot (or play mind games with him to get him to tell you, not suggested it starts things badly), wait until he makes it apparent where he's going with this 'situation', or forget about him and leave him in the dust to find a much more obvious guy.

Edited to add: Ah, yes, I remembered something else. You can flirt with him, (depending on how intently is up to you) and gauge his response and possibly progress it to see how far he goes...(which seems to be inverse of how the 'stereotypical' relationship works...)

[lllshannonlll]

lol quint i like that advice............does everyone else agree?

[HardNgood]

Quint,yer talkin' good stuff dude!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

There's more. He knows you're there. He knows you're "available". Yet he makes no effort to be with you. There you have your answer. Don't bother telling him how you feel, etc. etc. He could not care less.

If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you.

[lllshannonlll]

*sigh* who knows. so another question then, if i STOP doing sex-ish stuff with him, and just keep hanging out like usual....will he think I have lost interest and forget about me? Or is there a chance that I can gain the respect back that I may have lost for fooling around with him early? I should mention that I dont think he DISRESPECTS me...he always makes sure i'm included in plans, doesnt avoid me in situations he knows will NOT be sexual, and is just generally really nice to me. thanks again for any input

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you want to have sex with him, and he's agreeable, then have sex with him. If you don't, then don't. We can't read his mind for you, hun. But being confident and 'in control' yet friendly seems best in this situation. Relax and see where this leads.

[sera300]

Just do what is comfortable for you...if he is trying to hold your hand & dance w/you go w/it if it's what you want. If it leads to more then let it...Do you think less of him for "fooling around" w/you before you have established a "dating" relationship? So why would he think that of you? Maybe he is unsure of how to proceed; see where it goes since you seem interested in him and see what he does.

[lllshannonlll]

no i dont think less of him at all! but im worried that he does, because his best friend told me he has given her the advice "guys that fool around with you before you're dating don't care about you".....when she was talking about guys she likes...so thats where this all came from lol