I think she might be cheating with my best friend...

[Name Withheld]

I'm not sure, but there is cause for suspicion. He obviously loves her, he's always going to her house, half the time when I call her I can hear him talking in the background, and when we're all together she's on his arm almost as much as mine!

It just doesn't add up though. The last time she *almost* cheated on me, she called me the same day practically sobbing for forgiveness. She used to have a sore habit of it, but she's informed me "I'm different" and that she "Feels guilty about it now"... Which... I really don't know if I believe completely... She did, after all, cheat with me before she broke up with her last boyfriend... And she didn't tell him about it... even afterward.

And then there's the other guy... He would never do anything like that. And she's told me dozens of times he's said he doesn't dare do anything like that because he's afraid of losing me as a friend.

But I can't help feeling suspicious anyway... Is there a way I can outright ask her without making her think she's lost my trust? Help me out here.

[osundayo]

i think u should just let her know how u feel; that it bothers u. and if she contiunes to let him be there, when ur not, id ask her straight out.

i wouldnt allow my bf to hang out with some girl by himself, specially if i knew he had cheated in the past.

u cna trust someone, but there has to be limits, and u need to tell her that.

[Name Withheld]

Hm... I just don't want her to think I don't trust her any more. She's always saying how I'm the best guy she's ever dated, and how I really care about her and she would never want to endanger what we have...

I really want to believe her, but... I just don't, fully.

[HardNgood]

dump her IMMEDIATELY...too many trouble spots mentioned in your first post

[sera300]

Time for you to move on and find someone who will concern themselves w/your feelings.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I think she should move on. She needs to get out more and see more guys which is much more fun than hanging with someone who does not trust you.

[Name Withheld]

I already told you, It's not that I don't trust her.

I think the reason I'm so nervous is that this guy is in the exact same position as I was in two months ago, with the same girl.

I really loved her, but she was going out with a good friend of mine, and I was just going to patiently wait it out. I told her over and over that I didn't want to come between them, but in the end I think it might have been that display of compassion and patience that accidentally made her fall for me and break up with the other guy...

But the worst part was that he still doesn't know about what was going on behind him... It's all just too familiar; when I call her and he's there he'll get on the other line and we'll chat all three of us and hang out and have a jolly old time, but the whole time all I can think about is "What if she's doing the same with him as she was with me?"and then my imagination runs away with itself and I start picturing things I really, really don't want to picture...

Have I already dug my own grave with this paranoia or what?

[Name Withheld]

I really don't *think* she's doing anything, I guess. It's just this looming sense of deja-vu making me imagine all the things that might be going on... I just need to be reassured there's nothing going on, I guess...

Maybe if I talk to the friend about it... would that help?

[HardNgood]

You asked a question, you received some feedback, you have your right to your interpretation,so do whatever you want( a leopard doesn't change it's spots)

[sera300]

Trust your gut feeling...if something is wrong, it is! Listen to HardNgood...I have a rule; if they did it once they will do it again. She should not be compromising your relationship. What do you think the friend will tell you? The truth??? Sorry, he is her friend and has his own personal agenda!!!