how do you pick up girls?

[busta]

ok, heres the deal, i am a guy and have low confidence when it comes to talking to girls on the street, its ok once i get to know them, but when i first see a girl, i have no idea what to say to start a converstation. any help will be greatly appreciated

[sera300]

Before you try to pick up a woman; try talking to her. First make eye contact w/her see if she looks at you, when close enough strike up a conversation about the weather by making a comment to her...gee it's cold out today, don't you think? Let her respond see if she is interested in talking to you. Then initiate the conversation a bit more. But don't jump into a "deep" issue, keep it light and see how she reacts. When she engages in conversation start asking her questions about her self (don't be nosey though). Do you come here often? What did you think about the superbowl? Anything...but keep talking and don't act nervous, don't fiddle w/your hands be confident. Smile a lot, maintain eye contact w/her while you talk (don't stare and don't watch her boobs). If she continues, and you are interested in her still ask if she would like to get together for a drink/coffee/dinner, ask for her number and then CALL. Make a date to go out...now you are on your own!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Learn to talk to women without trying to pick them up. Begin with Hello and go on from there asking questions that cannot be answered with a yes or a no answer. LISTEN to her answers and follow up on what she says. Talk to her like a person.

Once you have mastered that, we can move on to the pick-up.
Eye contact is essential here - if she meets your eyes you MUST hold her gaze and smile nicely - no don't grin like an idiot. After she has looked away you gradually move toward her - no rush- and say "Hello I'm ___". Sit down beside her and talk to her. You have to exude confidence and seem as relaxed as you would at home. Chat for 30 minutes to one hour and then ask for her phone number. If she says no - move on after thanking her for the chat. If she says yes, copy it down carefully along with her name and then move on - do not promise to call her. Later - wait two days and then call with a definite date in mind.

If she declines and gives an alternative date, tell her you will check and get back with her. Get back with her the next day and say yes.
If she declines flat out an nothing more - move on after apologising for bothering her and hanging up.
If she says yes, then you're good to go.
Good luck!

[CoyotePrince]

"You have to exude confidence and seem as relaxed as you would at home."I agree with everything Kitten and Sera says, but no one ever mentions how to get some
This is the fundamental rule of approaching women, you must show confidence, a person can sence when theres no confidence in another person.It comes through the way you stand, the way you look at people and the way you talk. Having confidence is not as easy as it sounds, from personal experience. I can tell you this though, its a LEARNED skill. Its something you have to put into practice on a daily basis. I did this little exercise about once a week when I was 18, its rather simple, it helps if you do it alone, but once you get better at it, bring a friend, cause it turns out to be a lot of fun. In anycase, go someplace, anyplace with a lot of the opposite sex (go somewhere you think the type of women {or Men, this works really well for women too btw} you would "like" to meet would go I.E. You like reading, you want someone who likes reading, go to a library etc.) and you try to talk to around 50-100 women sounds silly right? but its not, it feels so wierd when you 1st do it, you feel like a dork (doesn't have to be 50+ people, I made myself talk to that many cause I wanted to have that kind of confidence to talk to 50 people lol) and lets not forget the big thing, the fear of rejection! BUT heres the catch, almost every women you talk to, will NOT say what you fear the most "F**K off you Freak, why the hell are you even talking to me!!" Almost everyone you approach will most likely be really polite to you. They'll say things like" I'm sorry I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested, sorry" (some won't even give you a responce, don't worry about it, just brush it off and move on), like I said, real polite if you are. Anyways by the time you talk to 50+ people, your not really afraid of rejection for a while, you'll be a lil numb to the feeling. This is when its the most fun, you feel like you can approach anyone and will, AND the WORST thing that can happen, is they say their not interested in one way or another. So by doing this exercise you lessen the demon that is Rejection and build confidence . You may just end up meeting a friend, a partner, a lover.
PS Sorry for the novel, but I found this one a helpful way to start meeting people and I needed to share, love is a life long teacher, and this is only one way to learn a part of touching the lives of others Take care and all the best to you!

[indianagurl1975]

I find it so cute that you are reaching out for help in this matter, so I thought I would reply to let you know so. I think the suggestion of going somewhere with a goal of talking to 50-100 girls is great, it will help you to relax. While confidence is HUGE when talking to and attracting a girl, arrogance is my #1 turnoff, and I think some men come across as arrogant when they are just not confident. Maybe fabricated confidence comes across as arrogance? Anyway, the first few conversations will be the hardest, and I would maybe suggest finding a friendly face (no relation to beauty or bust size) and tell her your intentions. If I was sitting in the library and some guy approached me, asked me if I had a minute, then told me he was trying to overcome his fear of talking to beautiful women and would I mind talking to him a minute and giving him some suggestions, I would consider proposing on the spot! That would also save you from the "I already have a boyfriend" thing, unless they have some psycho jealous boyfriend, and in that case, you don't want her advice anyway. Good luck to you, and please keep us posted!

[Old Kid]

Originally Posted by indianagurl1975

I find it so cute that you are reaching out for help in this matter, so I thought I would reply to let you know so. I think the suggestion of going somewhere with a goal of talking to 50-100 girls is great, it will help you to relax. While confidence is HUGE when talking to and attracting a girl, arrogance is my #1 turnoff, and I think some men come across as arrogant when they are just not confident. Maybe fabricated confidence comes across as arrogance? Anyway, the first few conversations will be the hardest, and I would maybe suggest finding a friendly face (no relation to beauty or bust size) and tell her your intentions. If I was sitting in the library and some guy approached me, asked me if I had a minute, then told me he was trying to overcome his fear of talking to beautiful women and would I mind talking to him a minute and giving him some suggestions, I would consider proposing on the spot! That would also save you from the "I already have a boyfriend" thing, unless they have some psycho jealous boyfriend, and in that case, you don't want her advice anyway. Good luck to you, and please keep us posted!

Good advise about the arrogance part. I know a couple of those guys & they spend a lot of time with their D**** in their hand. Just wanted to add to all this good advise, no matter how hot she is, resist the temptation to touch. She will let you know when that is acceptable. Girls hate unwanted pawing. Also, don't stare across the room at them. That definitely creeps them out too. I used to run around with a female friend that was quite outspoken. Tapped her on the butt one time when I first started to hang out with her. She quickly told me we were just friends and that if I did it again she'd punch my lights out! LOL Another time this dude was stareing at her (she is a very attractive girl) she walked accross the bar and asked him point blank " Why the F*** are you stareing at me dude!" Right in front of his wife! LOL Needless to say, he quit looking.
BTW, Coyote, Best shutdown line I ever heard was..."Girls with A**s like mine don't talk to guys that look like you"

I'm digressing again. Anyway, above all, be patient. Seems like the women I've ended up with over the years have most often come to me. Just go out, have a good time and relax. Next thing you know some little girl will be sitting right next to you & you'll wonder how she got there.

[indianagurl1975]

The last advice is so much truer than even the giver can ever imagine. The truth is, hot girls get so sick of men staring, making dumb comments, or trying to touch that it is a huge turn on when a guy doesn't do that. I wouldn't have believed it until I lived it. I got to the point I hated going out because the guys were incessant. When I finally found a guy who acted unimpressed with me, I tried a little harder. I had to make all the moves, the first hand holding, the first kiss, and when I couldn't resist and tried to sleep with him, HE TURNED ME DOWN- said I had to cook him dinner first. Two days later, I cooked him an amazing dinner then practically raped him. Three weeks later I proposed! Of course he is not perfect, but the point is, most guys are the same, arrogant acting with the same motives...it's the different one who gets the girl. I see the fire in his eyes when he admires me fixing my hair, like he has no idea how he got me. He is no Ken to my Barbie, but I was not looking for someone prettier than me anyway! Be yourself and be humble, the right girl will snag you like a delicious bass.

[Raidenator]

It's a helluva lot easier if you work or go to school with women, they make good practice. I developed my ability to freely talk to women throughout highschool and further developed it into college. It's nothing fancy, just if you happen to be sitting next to a girl make a comment about ___ (Substitute ___ for weather, insane professors, current news, etc.) It's no big deal really. Don't start talking to girls with the line of thnking that you're going to start dating them, just treat them as you would any other girl friends.

[busta]

hey thanks for all the advice everyone and ill try it out next time i can

[Newtolove]

as far as I know the trhing that scares women off most easily is if you look like you just want to get into bed with her as soon as possible and it is very difficult to hide so just put it out of your mind until you get to know her better then make further moves, unless of course you just want a one night stand slut