More sexually open than my fiance...HELP!

[indianagurl1975]

Although I had a couple of boyfriends when I was young, I got with my ex husband when I was 21. After 8 years, I left him and found the man I adore now. Sex with him feels so much better as I love and trust him so much more than my ex, not to mention he has one of those perfect g-spot curves. There are, however, some things he says and does that are different to me, but I feel like, because I was with the same man through my most sexually becoming years, I don't really know what is normal and what is not. I read through most of the posts looking for answers, but to me it seems my problems are unique.
The fiance is a couple years younger than me and has been with fewer women than he can count on 2 hands. I have been with probably a dozen men, so I assume he is less experienced.
The ex was 5 years older and more experienced than me, so I suppose it is safe to say he "trained" me sexually. In our relationship, anything went. There was nothing I couldn't ask for, and, in turn, nothing he couldn't. Things never got too intense, I brought a couple girls home. There was no bondage or anything, but, if nothing else, we had a great sex life and usually had sex at least once a day. I developed habits I thought my new man would appreciate, and am struggling to understand why there are things he doesn't like.
I am now 31 completely coming into my sexuality. I want sex more than ever now, several times a day. If I don't have sex every night, I can't even fall asleep. I love the connection sex brings, along with the release of the orgasm. I am completely faithful, always have been. I wouldn't consider ever cheating.
The ex and I had 3 kids. We still had the time to connect, and would grab a quickie every chance we got. Every door in the house had a lock on it, and he would catch me throwing a load of clothes in the dryer and lock the door. In 3 minutes, we could pull a quickie, both orgasm, be dressed and back in the kitchen with the kids still outside with no idea what had happened. Or a quickie on the toilet seat as I got out of the shower and he got in. One time, in 8 years, did our 7 year old daughter walk in on us. It was 1 AM and we were having sex in our bed, it could have happened to anyone. My fiance has no interest in anything but sex in the bed at night. In fact, he makes me wait until 2 am or so before we can have sex even ONCE A DAY! Without sounding conceited, I know I am beautiful, and medical science has made me a 36DD. Desire is not the issue. And I know he loves me, also not the issue.
Another issue is my period. The ex and I would almost have sex more at that time, as I was more turned on and had no chance of pregnancy, not to mention it helped with cramps. In fact, if it was clean and had a tampon in, he would still perform oral sex on me. The fiance treats me like I have leprocy when I am on my period, he says it's gross. Is this how most men feel?
Yet another issue I am confused about is this. I know my fiance loves me more than my ex never did, but my ex husband always complimented me on my performance. From my oral sex to my hand job to the angles I would ride him. I was actually more confident about myself before I got with my fiance. My fiance told me up front he didn't like oral to be performed on him, but after performing some AMAZING oral sex on me, making me orgasm harder than ever, I convinced him to let me do it for him. He just laid there like a corpse. After a few minutes I quit. He said I "stroked over the head", which actually HURT him. It was the same blow job I had given my ex husband for years, the same one that brought him to orgasm hundreds of times. One time, when it was hard, the fiance put his penis in my hand. I got up to get the lube to show him my hand skills, and he said "no lube". No lube? I tried to stroke him, but was afraid of pulling his skin or "stroking over his head" and couldn't really do anything at all. Can anyone tell me how to give a dry hand job?
I guess I thought when I left my husband, the new sweetie I would eventually find would like the fact that I want sex 5x a day with ONLY HIM, am open to any requests, and wouldn't mind performing oral, or receiving anal, or any of the other things men seem to fantasize about. On one hand, I can't help but feel frustrated with him for not making sure I am sexually satisfied, and on the other hand, it is kind of hurts my self esteem when I am telling him how bad I want him and he acts like I am some kind of nympho. Can anyone help?

[sera300]

Well not all men are created equal when it comes to libido, performance, openess, sexual comfort, enjoyment, etc. If your new hubby to be does not want to be more open, despite your wishes, there is not much you will do to change this. I went through the same, my ex finace did not like oral (on him) gradually tappered off doing it on me--trust me it will never change. I think there are some people in life we have this incredible chemistry w/and it will never be duplicated. But try to work out what is important to you w/him (I assume you have discussed this before w/him) and don't compare him to your ex.

[Beans518]

I don't really know what to say to you other than the fact that I understand. I too feel as though that I have a better sex drive than my fiancee who I have been with for 5 1/2 years now. I am too going through the sme things(read torn and confused post) and after 5 years my sex life is not getting any better. I suggest you find someone who is more sexually compatible because it sounds to me like your fiancee is a prude or my your sexual desires make him feel like less of a man. Let's face it [B]Some men[B] need their ego stroked more than others and when a woman shows more dominance in anything some menfeel threatend. It's not you it's him and something he needs to work on. At least that's my opinion.

[Blue Eyes Dream]

From a guys perspective here...

Women complain all the time (from what Ive heard), about being treated the same as the next woman and that women have different likes and dislikes when it comes to sex.

Well newsflash- So do men. If you really want some of your old sexlife back the only thing I can think of is if you gradually influence him to allow you, as a gratification favor of sorts. Just remember if it hurts and its disliked/protested. Stop.

Quite simply in my opinion you just have to find his own buttons, have patience.

[Beans518]

Why should she have to encourage him to like sex with her and try new things? Why can't her needs be met also? If she does something and he says he doesn't like it then she should move the hell on and stop trying to stroke his ego. he's a grown man not a child.

[Blue Eyes Dream]

Originally Posted by Beans518

Why should she have to encourage him to like sex with her and try new things? Why can't her needs be met also? If she does something and he says he doesn't like it then she should move the hell on and stop trying to stroke his ego. he's a grown man not a child.

Beans one phrase...

Give to Receive.

If everyone followed your rule then neither sex would be happy.

[cjb1981]

Dry hand job: Do an "OK" sign with your hand using the middle finger and thumb. The key is to get the right amount of pressure, and make sure that your hand is completely dry, a little baby powder helps. To me , it actually feels better than a "lube" hand job. Better yet, clean up is easier too.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Well it seems you traded in your ex for a 'low sex drive' fiance'. Please do NOT marry this man! Few things are worse going into a marriage than mis-matched libidos. You will not change him. He will not change you. If you continue, dissatisfaction will only increase and will gradually poison the rest of your relationship.

my advice: MOVE ON.

[RF4569]

I think this whole "no lube" thing must be what my girlfriend's ex liked. I had to show her how I liked things because when she first tried it on me, it did nothing for me and it did kinda hurt.