help me understand...

[exballer]

...because just saying he's a dick doesn't cut it.

i dont want to write an essay about my messed up relationship, so i'll try to keep it brief.

i'm in this relationship that isn't really friends with benefits as we don't even speak outside our respectives homes. we run into each other two or three times a day and i used to try to say hi or at least make eye contact and smile, but he would always ignore me or be rather short if he actually spoke, so i dont even acknowledge him anymore. however, when we're alone it's a different story. he's very talkative, caring, and interested in me. i've confronted him about this and he asks me what i expect since we're "not together" (his favorite phrase). i see his excuse but do not agree with his conduct.

i try not to focus on these things and look solely at our sexual relationship. unfortunately it is also lacking. i wish i could say it's an equal relationship since that's the only thing we're based on. i have the age of problem of being willing to give him oral sex and him being completely unwilling to return the favor. i've also confronted him about this, but he still refuses to do it with the explanation that he just doesn't feel comfortable doing it and has never done it for any of the other girls he's been with. he also expects sex when he wants it and is very forceful if i say no, but will not return a call or come over when i want it.

i've not yet cut off the relationship because before him i hadn't had sex in two years and i'm not quite willing to give it up yet. i know i need to do it if things wont change. before i make that decision, i want to hear from your insightful minds. do you have any thoughts on how i can get this to be a more equal relationship? if not, has anybody been in a similar relationship and can help me understand why he acts this way?

thanks for your time, have a great day!

[sera300]

I hate to tell you but there is no relationship; your his booty call. Cannot expect more from him, either have to accept this and it be what you want or find yourself a new friend!

[exballer]

i know i left a lot out. when we first met i told him it was okay that it was just a booty call and he said he wanted to date me. so we hooked up once but he said he was disappointed with the way we started our relationship. so we spent about a month hanging out alone and in groups with other people getting to know each other. that whole time we didn't have sex. then we started having sex again and for about a month we were basically a couple. then, about two months ago, he started with this jekyll and hyde stuff.

[sera300]

Kick him to the curb and find a man who treats you the way you like! You don't need the attitude from him!!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Move on, girl! This is not the guy for you!
You have tried to talk to him but he refuses to listen.
Since he hasn't stepped up..it is time for you to step off.
Plenty of willing men out there!

[Newtolove]

just find yourself a proper boyfriend and then give him his notice. he can't complain about you looking elsewhere as it is friends with benefits (his pet phrase ? - works two ways...)

[sera300]

But he is not even being a friend! That's the kicker.

[dancingdoc2]

i've not yet cut off the relationship because before him i hadn't had sex in two years and i'm not quite willing to give it up yet. i know i need to do it if things wont change. before i make that decision, i want to hear from your insightful minds. do you have any thoughts on how i can get this to be a more equal relationship?

You've answered your own question, and so have those who have replied, above.

When are you going to take care of Number One and do what's right for you?

[exballer]

you guys have effectively told me exactly what i dont want to hear, but know to be true. thanks.

[Newtolove]

well now go and act on it you must learn to be sure of what you know what your reality is and do something about it somebody else certainly won't be doing it for you