Getting Back Into the Game

[Ynot]

I got out of a 5 year relationship about a year and a half ago. I'm over the hurt, the sense of loss is behind me and I have my old body back. My predicament is, I'm 26, out of college and I have never faced the prospect of finding a mate in a non-school or non-school social environment. When you're in school, it's easy to meet and get to know new people. Hell, meeting new people is practically forced upon you. Not so much now. What are some good ways to meet new people? Any help would be appreciated.

[sera300]

Well, same boat as you and I have found on-line is the best to meet other's. I have had the best results w/eharmony, for finding people interested in a serious relationship and also who are compatible. I find it opens a realm of people you never would have contact with ordinarily. I have tried meeting men grocery shopping, volunteering, etc. never worked! Good luck!

[dancingdoc2]

If you asked Dr. Phil (McGraw) he would no doubt recommend "Match.com". Either of these two services offer pretty good success if your ad is well written.

On a local level, I recommend networking. Inform family, friends, and, co-workers that you are available and in the market for a date. The more people you have working on your behalf, the greater your chances of success.

My next recommendation is to place yourself in the midst of potential dates. Involve yourself in one or more clubs, professional or fraternal organizations in which either women participate or in which you are likely to encounter as a result of interacting with society. Join a church group, sport, or other activity. You have to be seen by others as well has having others told about you.

This is one of the many benefits of Ballroom dancing. If you live in or near a major metropolitan area you will likely find several dance studios and dance venues. You may or may not find a mate who dances; yet you will certainly be entertained, challenged, develop many friendships, and learn and participate in a great sport. You will meet people of all ages from college age to senior seniors and from all walks of life. What a great way to have these friends do some searching for you. Many women love to dance and if they do not have a dance partner or escourt, they will often go with a girlfriend. Now, I ask you, is this not a "two for one" special?

[Ynot]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

This is one of the many benefits of Ballroom dancing. If you live in or near a major metropolitan area you will likely find several dance studios and dance venues.

Is there any where you could recommend in the Houston, TX area?

[Ynot]

Originally Posted by sera300

Well, same boat as you and I have found on-line is the best to meet other's. I have had the best results w/eharmony, for finding people interested in a serious relationship and also who are compatible. I find it opens a realm of people you never would have contact with ordinarily. I have tried meeting men grocery shopping, volunteering, etc. never worked! Good luck!

I tried the eharmony thing once. The only people with whom I was deemed compatible lived on the other side of the country. I guess there are no non-religious Houston women in their 20's using eharmony. Hey, but I'm always down to try again.

[sera300]

Did the same as you the first time...shorten your search for matches. I will only use a 60 mile radius. I have met some really wonderful men which I had a great deal in common with; one was my ex-fiance (he just decided he did not want to be married again & have kids) but we were compatible in things we enjoyed together, shared similar values, just different priorities. The man I started seeing 2 months ago I met the same (EH) and he lives down the road...I tried the groups, ballroom dancing, chruch functions, etc. I was beginning to think the entire world was married, except for me. Try again & give it 6 months!!! Get out an network!!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Go to clubs, bars, local hang-outs. What did you think they're there for?
eHarmony is for marriage with religious persons and match.com is much the same. Try adultfriendfinder for SERIOUS fun and games - you never know - she might be there!

[cyclefreak]

She's probably somewhere you least expect. That's if she's there at all.

[Old Kid]

Originally Posted by cyclefreak

She's probably somewhere you least expect. That's if she's there at all.

Yeah, The one I'm with now more or less spotted me and initiated the relationship. Sometimes we can try too hard which has a negative effect and can make us seem desperate or like dogs in heat. I tried Match.com but didn't have much success. I was honest & listed as seperated not divorced and I think that hurt my chances pretty bad. Had one very hot looking lady(from her photos) answer my message but she said although we had a lot in common, she would never get involved with anyone whose divorce wasn't final. Shame, we both have Harleys & it may have been a lot of fun but I could respect her point. Oh well, maybe for the better since my present GF makes me very happy & we definitly have lots of fun together!

[Ynot]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Go to clubs, bars, local hang-outs. What did you think they're there for?

Thanks for the advice you guys. I have more questions if you don't mind. At the risk of sounding pathetic; you go to the bar, then what? What I mean is, how do you let a girl know you're interested?