A little shy about oral sex?

[oleander86]

I recently left a long, serious relationship, and am now starting to see a new guy. Neither of us wants to jump into a really serious relationship right away (just because we both got out of one), so this is all pretty new, and we're just getting used to each other sexually.

After about a month or so of sleeping together, I started to slowly realize that while he LOVES sex, and this is great, I'm not sure what he thinks about oral. I love giving and receiving it, possibly because my last serious boyfriend loved giving and receiving it too. There was never any need to tell the other person to do it, because we did it all the time and loved it. Recently, I was on my period and we couldn't have sex, so before this new guy I'm seeing went away on a trip, I finally got to give him a full-out blowjob. He said he loved it, said it was great, really enjoyed it.

When we have sex, now, the foreplay is sort of limited (even compared to when we started sleeping together). I'll go down on him, and he enjoys it, but he'll stop me to have sex (which is fine..), but he never even attempts to go down on me during foreplay. I'm sort of struggling with this, because all of my past relationships have loved doing it, so I don't think it's me.. but, who knows?

The lack of oral sex is starting to make me a little uncomfortable, because I feel like it's this issue that's just hanging there in the air. I want to ask him about it, but I'm scared that it'll make him feel pressured into doing something he doesn't want to. Should I just flat-out ask him and get it out of the way? I asked him once (in an attempt to get at the issue) if he was uncomfortable doing ANYthing in bed, and he said the only thing he wasn't into was things like extreme pain for pleasure, etc. He never even touched on the oral sex thing.

I hate to sound like a brat, but I don't like the double standard that's starting to slowly develop. Sometimes I think he just likes normal sex SO much that it overrides any need or desire of his for oral, but I like more than just sex. Should I bring up the issue with him, or give it time?

[sera300]

Ask him point blank...also read the post I think it's titled "double standard"...similar question/issue!!!

[sera300]

Here it is: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dati...ationship.html

[unknown11]

i agree just ask him to, thats not pressuring him to do anything

[Jillybilly862]

I'm at the exact same situation, and I've come to the conclusion you (and me) just have to bring it up. I've decided to do it whole cooing and carressing him... not bring it up as a 'serious' conversation. But it's been suggested here that during sex I'd tell him how much I need it and want it, and I like that idea. Let him know how good it feels for you, how it drives you wild... That's what I'm about to do. I'll let you know how it goes

[EvilEvilKitten]

You could also try lying on the floor holding onto his ankles begging and pleading with him, tears in your eyes and voice.

or

Talk to him when NOT in bed, like adults asking "what's up with that, honey?" over coffee or something.

or

You can simply stop giving him oral sex and when he asks say "you get what you give", smile and continue on with whatever you were doing at the time.

or

Tie him own onto the bed and sit on his face.


I could go on, but personally, I prefer options 2 and 3.

[seekingadventure34]

I'm actually wondering about the friends right now bcuz u both have just gotten out of serious relationships. I'm seeing this guy well, were friends right now we have begun sleeping together. But how long does it take for someone to heal from a serious relationship? No kids involved well his ex had 2 teens. We have talked about the fact we both like each other very much, but bcuz he finished a serious relationship 4 months ago...I replied that going slow and building is good for me...I do like him very much! How long do I wait to ask him for more than just sex? Like a relationship!!! I like him so much that I'm willing to perform my first oral on him!

[coveresid]

Sounds like he is not really into oral sex since he cuts it short. Maybe he isn't in control when you give to him and he doesn't want to just cum from oral, so when you get him to a certain point he has to move and finish with regular sex. The fact he doesn't return the favor on you is disappointing. Really appears like he isn't good at it so he doesn't want to do it or he doesn't like it so avoids it. I love giving oral and love to get her going from oral. Recieving oral is great and I can't see going without. Talk to him and find out the problem. If he doesn't like oral, then can you go without or is it time to find someone else willing to return the favor.