12-30-2006, 09:57 PM
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not wanting to "date"
ok my girl and i have been together for about 3 and a half months and we have been playing for about half that. honestly i feel that we have a really strong relationship but when i asked her why we werent dating she said because she didnt want to hurt this other guys feelings (that no longer talks to her cause she is with me) she also said that since her parents relationship and even her aunts marriage have fallen apart she just got messed up by that. also her previous two boyfriends were pricks (they ignored her sometimes). i want to show her that im not going to do anything that will jeopardize what we have but i also want more than to just be very very good friends.
personally i dont see how anything could possibly change if we started dating. all that would change is that she would now be my girlfriend and i would be her boyfriend. i dont see the harm in that but for some reason she doesnt want that. any ideas as to why? 
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12-30-2006, 11:52 PM
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She is afraid of committment and of being hurt. The latter is an unrational fear that she is extrapolating to you and any other guy she might become involved with. In a word, she is probably conflicted between the knowledge that you are a good upstanding moral individual, and, that you will be just like these other guys who have upset her life all without any proof. Trust is something she needs to embrace.
__________________
Life without dancing? I don't think so...... The feet may learn the steps; yet only the spirit can dance! Dancing is the fastest way to get a girl alone and into your arms in public. The Tango smolders and burns. It ignites the heart, the soul, and yes, the libido. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to Dance in the Rain! Dance as if nobody is watching.
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12-31-2006, 08:50 AM
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Excuse me but aren't you 'dating' now? Friends with benefits does qualify as dating.
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12-31-2006, 06:07 PM
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Exactly, what do YOU mean by dating, D-B? If you are seeing her on a regular basis, then I would call that dating.
It sounds to me like she is afraid of the possibility that one of her former boyfriends might see the two of you in public. She really has to get over that. Its silly.
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12-31-2006, 08:18 PM
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to me dating is being in a girlfriend boyfriend relationship and she doenst want the title of being my girlfriend just yet. like i said she claims that the main reason is that her parents have a ****ty ass relationship and after seeing how her last two relationships turned out i can understand that she is afraid but she has also told me repeatedly that im not like them and she can tell i would never hurt her. hopefully thats not just talk but i can wait till she opens her eyes and finds me waiting patiently for her.
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01-01-2007, 06:14 AM
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Is the official title of boyfriend/girlfriend that important to you? Could you let things run for a bit longer and show her through your actions that you won't hurt her? If you push her now she's less likely to see how this can turn out differently to her previous relationships.
Maybe review the situation again in a few weeks/months but don't push it as you're likely to only push her away
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01-01-2007, 11:25 PM
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thats what im going to continue doing. just so u know its not like i jumped on this immediately weve been together for a long time now.
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06-21-2007, 09:44 AM
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update, i just wanted to let everyone know that as of may 16th my girl and i have officially started dating. this october will mark one year of us playing with each other. all her other relationships didnt last to the 6 month mark.
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