Some advice from those who experienced my pain..

[Fortress2red]

Well... For over a month now, my mind feels very unstable most of the time, either excited, nervous, sad, happy, etc. Simply because I met a girl...

It began when I got my first job, in a super market as a food assistant, I enjoyed it very much, but until I saw 'her' at the check out, I noticed she looked familiar, but just ignored it. Later as I went to the rest room for break, she walked in, we both sat on the opposite side of the table with the awarkard silence, I glanced at her name badge, suddenly realising that she was the girl at my intermidiate school three years ago! I asked her about whether or not she remebered me, she replied with a yes... And that was the day when my mind become really, really unstable.

after that day seeing her for the first time in three years, the next week I saw her again at the check outs, I walk pass and greeted, she greeted back smiling, I felt slightly embarrassed but happy. But the problem is this continues on, where all I can do is greet her at the check outs, I could not go chat to her most of the time as she is usually busy.
Then one time while I was in the rest room, she walked in and we both greeted politly, this time she sat closer to me than what it was the first time I see her, my mind suddenly went blank. I simply don't know what to say and stayed very quiet, most annoying part is that I know I am going to regret myself for losing this great opportunity when I go home. And also this will simply give her a bad impression.
I did ask her how she has been these years and what school she goes to now, but thats about it.
I wanted to offer her a foot massaging since she did not know that I have started to learn about foot massaging, and was hopeful that it can help increase about the topics we could chat about.

I guess the problem is that I just don't know what to say and how to bring up any subject to chat about, until when I am away from her and would be thinking about the amount of things I could've chat about, and feeling really annoying because I lost my opportunity. Any advice on how can improve myself to be able to chat my confidently or what I should do now? Assumming that currently she is not hating or ignoring me. (At the stage where we greet each other still)

I would extremely happy if someone could cure this pain

Thanks
At the very least I wanted to show how how much I have grown since whoI am three years ago.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Calm down. And no don't talk about foot massage just yet - too personal is how she'll see that topic. Instead - just talk to various women in a relaxed way without trying to pick them up. Ask her if she thinks the weather will improve, what she fancies in the third at Aqueduct, what she thinks of the Celtics. Anything non-sexual, non intimate - ask if the bus is late, how her day's going - anything! Then LISTEN - women are just people too. The more you do this, the easier it becomes - and the more you'll end up actually liking women and the more confident you will be around them.

[dancingdoc2]

> I guess the problem is that I just don't know what to say and how to bring up any subject to chat about


There is something very interesting that you must know and understand about the female of the species and that is that most are chatty.

So, my suggestion is to pose the simple questions or musings as noted above, and then stand/sit back and listen. More often than not a woman will begin chatting about any number of topics and all you have to do is listen and chime in once in a while in order to keep the conversation fresh and alive. Ask questions or make comments or observations and just let the conversation develop.

When it comes to things about you, do not spill everything at once. I am NOT saying that you should hide anything or keep anything a secret, just dole out bits and pieces about you and your life and interests over time. This will keep her interested and wanting to know more, and, it will give you more to talk about in the long run.

[sk1983]

Hmm, the best thing to do is just have, at first, casual conversations. Ask her how's it going. Keep everything simple at first. Get to know her, and don't think so damn much. Your brain will keep you from living, believe me. I'm fighting mine as we speak, similar situation no less.

[Newtolove]

erm yea i have kind of been there and not wanting to dampen your enthusiasm i got no where, now i don't know what kind of girl this is but I had a crush on a girl but just never managed to get a conversation going. then i met another girl and we talked non stop for like 15 hours and I thought aha right it has to be from both sides you have to both want to have a convo not just you. but having said that girls do like to talk that is true so get her started and let her run the conversation. i mean i phone the same girl up often and like most of the time she does most of the talking she just loves some one who knows how to listen to her and I do and well we get on just fine, the other one was a dead loss oh and for the minute forget the idea of picking her up you have to establish a basic friendship first i found what struck me dumb mostly was worrying about how to get to the 3rd level before compleating level 1 & 2 just act casual she will feel more at ease and talkkmore easily

[browneyedgirl]

Just stop worrying so much! As stated above, girls are just people too. We are 100% human, just the same as you guys out there. We enjoy a lot of the same things, see the same movies, often like the same music, enjoy the same beverages, etc. Ask her how she is, ask her about school, or tell her something about yourself (like a funny anecdote of what happened over the weekend). Just relax and think of her as a friend. Once you can get a dialogue going, you can ask her out.

Everyday, work on having some kind of interaction with her. Tell her you like her shirt. Tell her you're going on your break. Ask if she wants to come on a break with you. Ask if it's been busy in the store today. Anything. It will get easier the more you do it, and then you can work up the courage to ask her out.

Good luck!

[Luvs2plzU]

Okay...I'm gonna lend you some tips...on how to win over chicks.. ..as you can see...I have NO AGENDA...I have no book to sell you...no webpage to pay and view...just plain ole fashioned plagiarizing..first start with a couple of these dingers..
Are you tired??...you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Okay....she laugh..or she'll slap you...either is GOOD because you get a reaction!!...LOL....then talk about HER interests...what does SHE like..people love talking about themselves!!!...be genuine when you talking and LISTENING to her!..

good luck...

[AussieBloke]

I think conversation is probably your best tool when your on the prowl, so to speak - well, is for me anyway! So, i reckon ill put down a few tips and hints that have i and i think work pretty well! Like with anything relating to sex/dating/relationships, this is just an opinion though so dont take it as gospel.

*ACT INTERESTED - even if she is talking about something that you find excruciating to listen to, act interested. Give her your 100% attention and really be interested in what she has to say!

*LISTEN AND COMPREHEND - actually pay attention to what she says; that way, you wont look like a tool in the future when youve got no idea what shes talking about yet, you spent 45mins talking to her about it the other day.

*TALK ABOUT HER - try to keep your conversations orientated around her. This way, you can have extended conversations and you have fewer chances to some the wrong thing. Also, you will be perceived to be genuinely interested in her. Also, you will find out if you really do like this person or not.

*ASK HER QUESTIONS - nothing personal though. Just about herself, her life, her ambitions/aspirations etc. Once again, it shows you showing interest and limits what you have to say.

*BE FUNNY - make her laugh. If your not a naturally funny person, sarcasm could be the way to go - but funny sarcasm, not annoying sarcasm. It is a fine line!

*BE MEAN - sorta. Choose the right times, as an example a death in the family would not be a good time, and have a joke about her. Make sure she knows your joking, and dont make it personal. Its really, really important to joke about something trivial so you make sure she doesnt get upset! AND DO NOT JOKE ABOUT HER APPEARANCE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.. IT WILL NOT GO WELL!!
As an example to the last one, if she called a cat a dog, if its the right time and you see a cat, in a serious voice say (but with a smile on your face)something as simple as 'oh look how cute that dog is.. oh hang on, its a cat! Easy mistake dont you think?!'

Well, i think thats exhausted my knowledge! Goodluck

[EvilEvilKitten]

Don't be mean, or cocky, or sarcastic - nothing at all malicious or unkind should ever cross your lips when talking with a woman - all will instantly remove any credibility you may have established with her.
Why?
Guys may be nervous about dating but few ever face the fear that women have - winding up dead in a ditch somewhere - so the first thing you have to do is to be non-threatening. If you do anything she could construe as mean, you will appear threatening and no date for you!
So
Just talk and listen like 'normal people'; appear calm and confident; and don't have expectations or 'push' her. If after this, she doesn't give you her phone number - then you can move on.