can friends with benefits work?

[xoxoKahluaxoxo]

I know this has been posted sooo many times. My boyfriend and I broke up very recently, about 1o days or so ago. Since then I was terribly upset, and decided (unwisely) the best way to go about getting over him was to quickly start dating again. Well, that led to a one night stand, and me almost having sex with someone who likes me, and leading him on.
I still talk to my exboyfriend about everything, he is one of my best friends.
Well, last night he told me that i need to stop fooling around, and if i want to mess around then to do it with him so I wont get hurt (Understandably the one night stand still really hurts me, it was my first one, and i genuinly thought that he cared.... but guess i fell for it).
Then my Ben and I started talking about our sex together, and what he could do to improve. I posted in here a while ago about how i was disapointed because he never seemed interested. Well, I finally told him everything straight out. He said he wanted to learn how to be a better lover, so he came over and we had a lessson.
It was freaking amazing. He was so much better than the entire time we were together. I think he liked the fact that I was more in control, and both of us started to fall for each other again I think. But I am going to try and resist every temptation to like him again. Since we got through one break up and could stay so close, I dont want to do anythin that might jeoprodize what we have now.
I just dont know if we are already doing to much, and if we are setting ourselves up to grow more distant.
Please help!
Joanna

[bryrw06]

i think that you'll find it very hard to sleep with him without falling for him again...its a very dangerous line.
i had a friend who i used to sleep with (i have a boyfriend instead now ) and it worked great cos we were good mates, and we used to satisfy each other, but i think thats very different to me say splitting up with my boyfriend and then continuing to sleep with him. you'll never get over him this way - it depends what you want - do you want to get over him?

[EvilEvilKitten]

You almost had sex with someone who likes you? OMG how AWFUL! Jeez girl, get over it!
So you took him back, did you? Let us hope he doesn't lose you again. You'll fall for him again. I just don't think you have it in you to be otherwise.

[Casimir]

Friends with benefits can work. However, with your situation I don't think it will. When you are with someone and you have deep feelings for them, and lose them it is hard to get over the feelins. Over time we do get over those feelings for the most part, but deep down we still love them. You are asking yourself to take a chance and sleep with this person and not to resurface those old feelings. Personally coming from a Galahad type I think it will be very hard to overcome this situation.

[browneyedgirl]

If you want to be having sex with him, get back together with him. If you don't want to get together with him, MOVE ON! Don't rush into anything, but do not seek sex with your ex. It will be too hard to separate sex/emotions.

[oleander86]

Friends with Benefits never works for me, period - but that's because I get emotionally attached easily. Each person is different, some can keep the emotional drama at bay, some jump right in and drown.

However, whether or not it's normally possible for you, I'd say in your particular situation, no. Too much history between you and him. I know that if I started hooking up with my exboyfriend, it would cause so much painful emotional problems. If you want to be with him again, that's fine, no one can tell you what to do - but I think you'll find it hard to maintain friends with benefits.

[xoxoKahluaxoxo]

thanks for your comments, we actually got back together. but you are all right... if it had continued and he started seeing someoen else i would have probably been really upset. thanks for your help

[SexySass69]

Thus It Has Been Proven Once Again, To Me At Least, That Fwb Does Not Work If There Is A Desire For Emotional Fulfillment As Well.