He feels he's not doing enough - help

[princessshay/90]

ive been sleeping with my boyfriend now 4 2 weeks and every time we have sex after he gets really frustrated that hes not doing enuf to please me.we both was in long term disaterous relationships before and he feels hes being compared to my ex but i feel im not doing enuf to please him as with my last relationship i hated sex as it bored me i dont know what to do 2 spice it up to stop him from feeling this way

[Newtolove]

well are you satisfied if so tell him

[browneyedgirl]

You just need to have a good old fashioned conversation. You need to talk about your wants and desires, fantasies you want to try, and what is bothering you about your sexlife.

Why do you hate sex? Have you been abused mentally or physically in the past? Are you comfortable with your body? Were you raised to think sex was wrong? Do you masturbate? If there's been abuse or you aren't comfortable with yourself, I'd recommend therapy for these issues, or if nothing else, you need to talk to him about it and explain where you are coming from. If you don't masturbate, this is essential in your being able to enjoy sex! If you do masturbate, show him what you need to get you off and introduce touching into sex.

There are many different positions you can try, and most poeple will have a favorite. My personal favorite (and my boyfriend's) is doggy style, where I am on all fours and he is behind me. This feels wonderful because the angle is just right for hitting my G spot. It's also a great position because it allows for clitoral stimulation as well, either by me or by him reaching around. He can also caress your breasts. This is just what I like, though, and so you may want to try different things until you find something you like.

I would definitley recommend that you introduce clitoral stimulation into sex, though. You can do this most easily in positions like girl on top, spooning, and doggy style. This should make it less "boring" for you, but that is only assuming that you know how to reach orgasm on your own through masturbation. You can also introduce sex toys, or try roleplaying if that appeasl to you both.

If you aren't enjoying sex, that is a big problem, and you two need to work together to find a sexlife that is satisfying for you both. You need to be able to communicate honestly and in a non-judgemental manner about what each of you would like to be going on in the bedroom. If you don't want to be having sex with him and do not enjoy it at this point, honestly I don't think you are ready to be having sex together. Maybe you need to take a step back and work on manual stimulation and oral before you jump into an unsatisfactory sex situation.

Whatever you decide, you really need to work on this together and be up front about your concerns. Good luck!

[princessshay/90]

no i wasnt abused or anything i was jus so board of sex b4 as my ex jus wanted me 4 dat n if i didnt doit he wud get the arse so i wud jus lie there n cudnt w8 till he ad finished but now my boyfriend is gr8 thank you 4 ur advice ill try it