(long post...) life, romantic twaddle, and my future.

[Luvs2plzU]

Dude...GET YOUR PHD !!!....the other stuff will fall in place!! education FIRST!!..I'm not trying to trivialize your love life..but if you so close to a PHD...get it done !!...Good Luck!!

[ua322]

Get a grip, man. You have had ONE serious relationship and, as a result, you are seriously lacking in perspective on this. Don't sabotage your current life while chasing the past.

I know you are a hopeless romantic, so it may shock you to hear this: there is not just one "perfect girl" for you out there.

The fact is that there are probably tens of thousands of "perfect girls" out there for you. So far you have only met one of them and she lives in California. You need to stop moping and get back to living life so that you won't miss out the next time one comes along.

[EvilEvilKitten]

No you are NOT a bastard! Grow a set, willya, please! You aren't 13 anymore. Moping over the past is foolish, juvenile, and unproductive! If you continue in this vein, you will lose all credibility with everyone. Mawkish sentimentality doesn't suit anyone.

Get your education done. Get and keep your dream job. LIVE your LIFE in the here and NOW. Trite as it may sound - love the one you're with.

[mrsbonjovi79]

I dont mean to sound so hard but if you really love this girl in California like you say you do you would be fighting tooth and nail to be with hera nd doing whatever you can to be by her side. If its as you say it is over between you then move you on you're letting her run your head and its torturing you. When I was 17 I met the guy I wanted to spend my life with he was perfect or so I thought he stole my heart and even talking about him now i still get goosebumps but he broke my heart and finished it and I couldnt believe it I was in shock but through all of that and being able to move on I met my husband and you can love again and it will be better and different to how you loved her.

Don't let her ruin your life either be with her or forget her if you can be friends but if it hurts too much then totally walk away. Think of your self respect.

[browneyedgirl]

OK... first off, as a California resident: Yes, thousands of Mexicans come to California and find employment. However, the great majority of these immigrants are illegal aliens, who can find only the lowest kind of work because the government profits from having undocumented farm workers and dishwashers. If you were willing to risk you life crossing the Mexican border and give up your aspirations to spend your life in servitude to a country that doesn't recognize you as existing, then sure, you could be in California too. Let's not rag on the Mexicans.

Second.... if you don't want to be in this new relationship, tell the girl that. If you let her wait around for you to get over the ex, this will not be a good relationship for either of you. You can either tell her the truth or try to make the relationship work and get over the ex.

I'm with the above poster... if you REALLY love this girl that much, you wouldn't be worried about committing to her. That tells me that you have doubts about whether it ever would have worked with Miss California. So... make a decision. Do NOT wallow in self pity. Either 1. get on with your life, and forget about the ex. or 2. go back to the ex and see if you can make it work and forsake your dream job. The choice is up to you... but you need to make it now instead of moping around.

[d.p.]

A quick update:

I decide to grow some balls and see where the relationship could go realsing I can't change the past. About a week after I decided this i noticed things were pretty strange. We barely saw each other, she was exceedingly busy with exams and she was also not well. This was fine as I wanted to take things slow.

Then when said she should have finished exams it was still hard to see her, when I did she acted very distantly. I knew soemthing was wrong. I once asked her if we could meet up that night, she said she had a party to go to and couldn't. I also had a party to go to and low and behold, it ws the same party with the same group of friends. Bull **** to be honest.

A week later she then invited me around, I was very suspect. She seemed very interested and apologised for her behaviour profusely, and explained that she had been ill (a continuous menstruation caused by stress). I thought fair enough but remained cautious. We then never saw each other for several weeks until we met again at a party. Agin, very distant and cold towards me. I tried to initiate some reaction but got nothing. She was cpolite and spoke to me etc but it was clear it was over. I sent her a text and asked her to be honest and tell me the truth, i got no reply. She doesn't even have the decency to tell me sorry its over.


The reason possibily becuase I was **** in bed being inexperienced, nervous, in two minds thinking about the ex, and also very horny (in a strange combination). I now understand ehr better and realsie she is a very sexual girl and was not looking for emotional entangelements at all at this stage. So I guess I am glad I am not with her

Its weird though, I see her from time to time and she just acts as nothing happend. Polite enough and chatty but thats it.

[d.p.]

Originally Posted by browneyedgirl

I'm with the above poster... if you REALLY love this girl that much, you wouldn't be worried about committing to her. That tells me that you have doubts about whether it ever would have worked with Miss California. So... make a decision. Do NOT wallow in self pity. Either 1. get on with your life, and forget about the ex. or 2. go back to the ex and see if you can make it work and forsake your dream job. The choice is up to you... but you need to make it now instead of moping around.

This is sound advice.
It is just easier said than done.

[Ephemera]

Look Werther, you've gotta go out and have a few flings before the love of your life will work out. That just seems the natural order of things. Have some fun with the sexy french chick. Who knows, maybe you'll even grow to love her. Maybe you'll just have fun. Either way, you'll be able to please your true love much better if you're experienced. One day when you find her, you'll know what to do. Practice makes perfect.

Now, this girl likes you, you're interested in her. Don't **** yourself over. Go in, have fun, be casual, let things flow naturally. The world is yours.

Oh, and don't shoot yourself in the head during some artistic, melancholy state of mental confusion.

Cheers.

[d.p.]

Too late with the French chick now, would have been fun if I was ready and she wanted to continue, but "C'est la vie" (that is life).

I now know that I do genueinly, 100% love my ex, and it is just about the only thing I knwo to be true. But i also know that at the moment we can't be together, and that probably we can't ever be together. Depressing but true. I just have to live my kife each day at a time and see where I end up. I also i know I reall want to be ina relationship (I have never been a fan of one night stands etc., and always beleived in a traditionalist aproach to some extent).

I'll see. Tonight I met a Croation girl, very frinedly and nice. I invited her to a party tomorrow night, a partial celebration of my Birthday. Will see what goes down.