Surviving some SERIOUS distance

[SexySass69]

Brilliant minds of sexinfo101, I am asking for your advice.

Here is my dilemma, at the end of this month my amazing boyfriend is leaving for Marine basic training and the next four years of our relationship will be dealing with him being property of the United States government and me being a student at a state university.

Our relationship has been so wonderful, we were really good friends and coworkers before we started dating. When I left for college, our relationship evolved into sweet text messages, long phone calls, and weekend visits. But these things won't be a part of our lives anymore because of military rules and the fact that he may be shipped overseas. I have told him that I worry about him and us but that I believe we can make it. He even asked me if I would marry him after he gets out and I didn't hesitate in saying yes.

I really want to wait for him because we're in love and we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but I am not really sure that I can cope with not really hearing from him- I know that he won't have time to write me a love letter every day. But lately I have been so full of doubts about it. I feel silly after I think about them because they are silly doubts (like I'll cheat on him, or that he'll stop loving me if he doesn't see me, and other stupid things that I know would never happen).

But how do I get through this without losing my mind or wanting to give up?

I would really appreciate any input from women or men who have been through something similar.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You either deal with it or not. I have been there and done that since both my husband and I are military and either he or I was deployed. But we had a different agreement than you two seem to have.

Letters and phone calls, Internet IMs and text messages will be your life for the next 4 years or so. There will be some visits, I'm sure. But no one can predict the outcome. And being a fiance' does not qualify you for the mutual support groups that the military has for spouses. This is going to be tough.
Good luck to you.

[dancingdoc2]

Well, we got married when I was finished with basic training. My wife was in college and I joined the Army in the middle of my education and went off to war. Unless things have changed significantly over the years, mail is still a very important part of a serviceperson's life. All his family and friends should stay in touch by letter and/or E-mail. He will likely be busy for the first few months, but not so busy he cannot send a letter now and then.

There are several organizations that place ordinary citizens in contact with service personnel and let them "adopt" them while in the service. So, do not for a minute think that he cannot keep the lines of communication open between you.

I spent nearly three years overseas as a newly wed and saw my bride only on annual leaves. Yes, it was difficult, yet she was fully involved in college so she had something else to focus on.

Your situation is not unique. Men have been going off in the service of their country since it was founded, leaving their wives and girlfriends behind for months and sometimes years. My suggestion is for the two of you to work out a plan that the two of you can be happy with and then work together even though you are separated to make it happen.

[TrustNU]

I am dating someone who's in BMT for the AF. I'd suggest doing some research from the Marines website... There are lots of guidelines for them and you to follow. The relationship status makes a diff. I have to send letters through his parents, to limit attention from his officers, they use it as leverage, his cuz said. He only gets one five min call on Sun. dancindoc2 is correct, we've been doing this for centuries. It's hard, but do-able! You can have me for support!!!! I could use a support system too. My heart is aching...

[the dude]

yeah.. if you're both true to each other then wait for him. get yourself some wicked sex toys to keep your horny-ness in check between visits with your sweety and stay in contact as much as possible. just keep imagining how things will be when he comes home and puts that huge rock on your finger and makes it official. If you can't hold out and you need to be with someone now, BREAK UP WITH HIM. Do not cheat because then you will be a whore, and all whores should be shot in the head.

p.s. maybe you guys could get blackberries or something like that so you can send emails and pictures back and forth. Don't forget, he's in the Marines. Marines = 24/7 sausage party, so if you send him pictures of you gettin randy with yourself, he's highly unlikely to lose interest in you. love letters area always key too.

[EvilEvilKitten]

shot in the head? hey dude, whores get paid for sex- just sleeping around is NOT a whore. Jeez, man! Lighten the %^$# up!

[the dude]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

shot in the head? hey dude, whores get paid for sex- just sleeping around is NOT a whore. Jeez, man! Lighten the %^$# up!

hey, I don't like you and your advice sucks, so shut up.

"just sleeping around is not a whore" !!! this is the stupidest thing I've read from you so far, and I'm sure it won't be the last either. obviously you don't believe in being faithful to your partner.

If you're the type of person that sleeps around or cheats on your partner, you should be killed.

[SexySass69]

I appreciate all the input guys and girls.

However, there are a few pieces of advice that I don't think will help me but they just may be useful for somebody else in this sort of situation.

If anyone else thinks of something else, please bring it to my attention.

Thanks again and happy humping y'all.

[Narhethi]

Oi, dude, lighten up, each to their own, but serisously that isnt the way to talk to a lady, whether you like her or not.

so i suggest you just leave, and return when you have grown up a bit.

And sexySass i wish you all the luck, and hope that it all works out

[SexySass69]

Here's an update:

My sweetie has arrived safely at Parris Island. I have been writing to him every day since I have gotten his address. It is now day four without hearing from him and I am doing okay.

I would like to thank everyone who has offered advice and support.

If there is anyone out there who is in a similar situation, please feel free to reach out because we can all use a little support now and then.

Happy Humping, Y'all.