This is a tough one or is it?

[Wondering1]

Met this woman on lavalife 2 months ago. Chatted for one week met and chatted again for another week. Have met every day pretty much since for a couple of hours. Have been intimate at least weekly. I told her I love her. She says she loves me. She bought me an expensive ($150) watch on my birthday. (I have spent at least 1K on us) One of the questions she asked me when we were chatting was how I felt about seeng ex boyfriends. I said I did not approve. She said she did not mean for her but that she wanted to see if I was jealous. Her former boss is a friend of hers. He is single. She says he is attractive, makes her laugh and that she has a good time when she is with with him. As well he is a miracle to her as he does not want to have sex with her but have a platonic relationship. He is 40yrs old. She likes him and his family like they are her family as they have helped her out since her arrival in Canada three years ago. She says she visits his elderly mother as she is like a mother to her. He is with his mother when she visits. She visits the mother at least monthly. This past week she suggested multiple times that I not see her on Sunday as I should probably visit with my parents who are returning from Hawaii on Saturday evening. When I tell her I want to be with her on Sunday she says ok. The very next day after she suggested that I not meet her on Sunday she emails me and advises me that her ex boss (ex boyfriend?) has invited her to brunch with his mother and sister and niece on Sunday from 1:00 to 4:00 and he invited me as well. She knows I want nothing to do with this guy (she knows as I told her this previosly when the topic of her seeing him came up) but asks that I go with her anyway. She says that she knows I am not keen on this guy but wants me to meet him and his family at some point. I say no thanks and advise her that it is her choice as to whether she goes or not. I also tell her I never want to meet this guy or his family. Not interested. Interested in her and our future relationship. We both think we want to live together and have a family if all goes well. She then asks that she be allowed to see her ex bosses mother whenever she wants as long as the mother is alive. I reluctantly agree. Her ex boss will be at the mothers for every visit with the mother.

My girl friend is from a small country in Europe. She spent 6yrs in Greece, 3yrs in Canada and says she has a degree in economics from a university in Greece. She works as the accountant for a small plumbing company and makes about on estimate about 15$ an hour. She lives with a roomate from her native country and has for three years. She told me that she lied on her visa application to the U.S. when I asked why she couldn't get a visa to go to Florida. She lied on her online profile about her age. Said she was 34 when she is 37 or so she says. Before telling me this she told me she does not lie.

Am I being paranoid? I have a feeling there is more going on here between my girlfriend and her ex boss (ex boyfriend) than meets the eye.

[Cleveland]

Perhaps you have more to be concerned about than her possible relationship with the former boss. Lying is bad enough (her age) but lying on a VISA application is a criminal act--she could end up in Federal prison. If you establish a continuing relationship with her, you might be implicated. If I were you I would cut off all contact, keep any evidence of discussions you had with her (Emails, etc) and move on with your life. Believe me, the former boss is NOT the main issue...

[Wondering1]

She has been denied a visa three times the last time when she confessed to lying on her previous two visa applications. I am not sure if your point re: the visa is of concern at this point. So the ex boss is not an issue at all in your opinion?

[Cleveland]

My opinion is that she is, in the eyes of the law, a criminal for lying on her VISA application. If I were you, that's all it would take for me to break off the relationship. Being a criminal trumps any concern I might have about her ex-boss.

[Wondering1]

On her visa application she denied having any family in the U.S.. She hasa sister there. The reasoning for the denial was that she heard that it was tougher to get a visa if you have family in the U.S. as the U.S. governement believes it more likely that you will not leave the U.S. if you have family there. Coming from an ex east block country this apparantly happens. I don't know if there is any truth to that. Visa aside what's your opinion on the ex boss or do you even have one?

[Cleveland]

OK, here is my opinion on the ex-boss. She is trying to include you in her relationship with him and his family. You have refused. Seems to me that she has gone the extra mile here--you rejected her attempt to show you that there is nothing between them than a plationic relationship.

[Wondering1]

Thanks. One for the girlfriend. I am running this by siblings and friends. So far you are the first to believe that there is nothing going on. Score is 2 against gorfirend 1 for. The polling continues. Don't you think it odd that she so much wanted me to not be around on Sunday? She was to afraid to tell me that she was going to brunch with him and his family members? Deception with the visa and now possibly this. A pattern develops. Or am I reading to much in to the Sunday thing?

[Newtolove]

why not meet the ex boss it might give you some more insight. as for greece being a previously blocked country this sounds strange and it is certainly not considered the east it is part of mediteranian europe

[Wondering1]

She is from Albania orginally, in greece for 6 yrs Canada for 3yrs. Maybe it is a lack of confidence in myself but I feel threatened by this guy. Is she using me as tool to leverage this guy to be with her. She says how much fun she has with him and how attractive he is and how is the miracle of her life. Perhaps she really wants to be with him and I am a way to show him she might not be around forever. I can be paranoid, this I know, especially where girlfriends (women) are concerned. My concern is investing my time in her and then her leaving for him. Who said relationships were easy. You may be right on the meeting him. But I told her honestly that I have no interest in meeting him or his family. I want to make a family of my own with her if possible. Selfish perhaps but I am not getting any younger at 40. No time to waste with games.

[Sirene]

Originally Posted by Cleveland

My opinion is that she is, in the eyes of the law, a criminal for lying on her VISA application. If I were you, that's all it would take for me to break off the relationship. Being a criminal trumps any concern I might have about her ex-boss.

Jesus, if you loved her those things wouldnt matter. Anyone would do anything for love. I know i wouldnt dump my girlfriend if she was an illegal.