Relationship problems

[petenpete]

-ok im 18 and I have no problem starting a relationship but when it comes to maintaining them it always goes to **** before it starts. It seems like its goin good for a few weeks and out of no where she wants to end it. Once because she wasn't feeling it and another girl because she liked another guy. With each of these girls we made out, had fun conversations and spent a decent amount of time together. But i still havnt had a relationship that has lasted past a month. ---It's been more then two girls, i just gave those two examples--

I've always wondered if its because im an athlete. im usually playing sports probably around 4 times a week and thats in the off season :/ but those usually last around 3 hours a day nothing at all that gets in the way too much.

I also dont have a license yet..., which limits time to see each other.

*im about to hook up with another girl - we've been talking for a few weeks now and its great. I dont want it to end so short like the others any suggestions/ life experiences for my situation?

P.S. I have been told alot that im too perfect of a guy and that the girls dont want to hurt me later on in the relationship. WTF!

[Cleveland]

I've always wondered if its because im an athlete.

Nah, that is probably part of the attraction in the first place!

I also dont have a license yet...

A bit strange. At an age when girls admire independence you don't have the KEY to your own independence...

P.S. I have been told alot that im too perfect of a guy and that the girls dont want to hurt me later on in the relationship. WTF!

Crock of BS.

Can you ask one or two of the girls you are no longer with to be honest with you?

[dancingdoc2]

It is the nature and purpose of dating to get to know lots of people in a closer setting than just a circle of friends. As such, we, or they, sort through a laundry list of attributes like a person's character, likes, dislikes, goals, morals, values, ideals, interests, habbits, quirks, etc., in order to determine whether or not the two of us have enough in common and if there will possibly be a good chance of compatibility. With all this in mind--keep on keeping on and continue to date lots of people. The more people we date the better able we will be to make a good choice when the time does come to narrow the playing field and find Ms. Right. Besides, the more people you befriend, the more chances you have of not staying home on a Saturday night.

Dating is also a venue for honing our social skills, and, for learning how to better communicate and interact with members of the opposite gender. So, consider this as a learning experience in the social graces, also. If you are perceptive and astute, you will become better at talking and relating.

Whenever possible, I urge teens not to date exclusively. The more you play the field the more rounded you will be as a person--AND, you eliminate all the trauma and drama within these early relationships usually have, and then later with breaking up. Teenage relationships rarely last a long time, although, some do and this is great, particularly among older teens. Now, having said this, I know you are just trying to get one, any one, to get off the ground. I would look at the following and take stock of how you rate:

* monopolizing the conversation, partiuclarly about your passions
* not asking questions designed to learn more about the girl and
then being able to continue a conversation based upon what she
says
* not being a good listener
- this also means trying to fix things for the girl when all she wants
is a sympathetic ear
* always doing what you want and hardly ever what she wants
* pushing too hard
- regarding making out
- regarding never giving her space or room to breathe. All too often
guys are always hovering over their date.
* Being too controlling

The last two go hand-in-hand. The girl got along just fine before a boy entered her life. Now that he has, guys incorrectly assume that they
must run it for her. WRONG. A relationship should be a partnership in which a couple join forces for the betterment of each--and, because they want to be in the relationship.

I cannot tell you what might be going on to sour your attempts. Perhaps asking a trusted grownup for an evaluation may help. On the other hand, maybe you are not doing anything wrong, it is just the luck of the draw. I don't know.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?