He doesn't respond to me trying to initiate sex.

[Abigail_83]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months. He is 30 and has had numerous sexual partners before me. He is my first. We only fool around and have sex when he initiates it (about once every week or two). I have attempted to initiate things with him on numberous occasions, but he always ends up brushing me aside. He seems to realize what he's doing, and cuddles me instead. I see this as his attempt to glaze over the issue at hand, and keep me from feeling recjected. My advances never get me anywhere, and this is VERY frustrating for me. I have a high sex drive, so anytime he initiates things I'm totally game. I plan on talking to him about this...but I was hoping that some of you may be able to offer me some possible explanations (from personal experience even). If you have any advice about how to bring this issue up with him, that'd be helpful too. I don't want him to feel like I'm scolding/criticizing him. I would like to approach this in a way that encourages him to be open and receptive to what I have to say. Thank you.

[girlzie]

I'm thinking that he doesn't realize that you are initiating sex. I think that guys have a different way of initiating things than women. When I would initiate sex, my boyfriend wouldn't seem to get it either. Since he is your first, maybe your way of initiating things, is not really initiating. Like for me, I have only had one other sexual partner, so when I talked to my boyfriend about my initiation of sex, he said he didn't realize that that is what I was doing. Maybe you need to be more verbal about what you want. I could be wrong in your situation. I would just talk to him, as an adult, don't criticize him or make a big deal out of it.

[Abigail_83]

Thanks for your reply. I did talk with him about this, and your explanation (with respect to him not realizing that I'm trying to initiate something) was part of the reason. I realize now that I have to be VERY straightforward about this with him, and also point out to him when he's turning me away without even realizing it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sorry but at his age he should be more 'clued up' than that.
For example: my signal to my men that sex had better begin now is: I remove my shoes (I never play at home).

We sit down, talk about what's going on in our lives, a bit of chat then he looks at my feet to see if shoes are on = no sex; or off = sex. He then goes from there.

Another good signal is to unbutton his shirt slowly from the top.

I have heard another lady say that she'd brush her hair in a certain way - she wasn't specific.

The point is that subtlety works if he is at all experienced with you.