Just turned 20...and still a virgin...

[Maverick38II]

...In every sense of the word. By that I mean never had sex, never "gotten some action" (be it oral, hand play, etc.), never kissed a girl, and even holding hands is a rarity. Girl friends? Never had one of those either. For the life of me I can't figure out why I can't overcome these issues. The frustrating thing is I know what many of the issues are. Well it probably only narrows down to one: confidence. Simply put, I have none. The thing that perplexes me most is why this should even be an issue. Girls find me attractive. This I know because I've been told countless times by girls (and a few guys), and I'm not so naive that I can't tell when a girl is checking me out. I've always been involved in sports, always had great friends, so popularity has never really been an issue. Just about every girl I know has commented either to me or their friends about how I'm "the nicest guy", "so sweet", or even so far as "untainted, unlike every other guy I know". I'm a "guy's guy", so hypersensitivity isn't an issue either. Hell, I even drive a sports car (well, a V6 Camaro, but she tries real hard!). I apologize if it sounds like I'm bragging here, but the point of all that is to illustrate that I have things going for me that should invoke confidence, yet here I've just arrived at 20, and am no wiser than a 15 year old in the mechanics of the opposite sex. Why is this? Part of me thinks it's performance anxiety. What happens if I make it to first base? I've never kissed a girl, so how will I know how? Or even more what if she wants to have sex? Will I be so nervous that it will all be over in seconds? Or will my size be good enough for her? Although the more I read up on that topic the more I realize I should be ok (about 6" erect and close to 5" in girth seems to be just fine for most women). I have a feeling I'm making more of a deal out of these issues than need be, but they weigh on my mind none the less. So much so that it affects the way I act once I've "made the catch". Fear of this unknown territory seems to limit my action with girls to just talking. Here's a typical example: I meet a girl, we both find each other attractive. We get comfortable and hang out a bit. Our conversations are engaging. The end. And if it does go anywhere, I become the guy who's shoulder she cries on when the jerk dumps her (basically the straight version of a girl's gay best friend). And I'm sure it's because I didn't make a move at some point. She got tired of waiting and moved on. And to any of you girls reading this, feel free to make a move on us guys anytime. You seem to have the easy part in pursuing relationships (although you do have pms and the babies.. touche). I guess my question is what event in my life made me stray from the same path of female exploration that all my friends embarked upon? Why can't I be bold? I feel I know the guy I want to be in terms of relationships. I just need a catalyst to break me out of my shell first. Something that puts my worries at ease so I can concentrate on pursuing the girls of my dreams instead of being afraid of them. Maybe I just need an aggressive woman to show me the ropes, one who puts me in positions that force me to overcome my shyness. Something like putting a gun to my head and saying "kiss me or I'll kill you". But since that probably won't happen I guess my only option is to step up to the plate and grow some cojones. And it seems through all that rambling I've just solved my own problem. It's just so much easier said than done. Do I really need to worry so much about my first kiss and sexual experience? I just feel like a guy my age is expected to have a certain level of experience, and a lack there of would be a turn off to most women. I guess I've pretty much made the answer obvious though. Be bold, plain and simple. Any other advice would be GREATLY appreciated. And sorry for the marathon post. That's 20 years of frustrations for ya (in a nutshell...).

[Maverick38II]

I just realized a few others before me recently posted on the same topic. Sorry, I'll be sure to do a little more research before my next post, though I still think this one deals with slightly different issues.

[blackhawkdown]

mate im a junior member as well im 18 and it looks like we are in the same boat. Ive never had sex or been blown, i have had a girlfriend who i might add didnt want to have sex i know how it feels. It weighs on my mind as well like all my mates have lost their virginity and i feel like the odd black sheep. Hell I havent had a girlfriend in like a year now and it hurts me to see like boyfriends and girlfriends kissing and ****.
There is this chick i like but I work with her so that could be a little awkward
But being two years younger than you I can maybe give you advice (even though you are older than me) which is: just ask the girl you like out. I asked a woman who worked at the video store out over the counter and I also have a real problem with confidence. So my advice is go for it mate, throw the hat in.