Why does the past haunt me

[kyp18]

It seems that everytime i see a girl i would like to ask out I flashback to my past failures. It seems that I always end up being the shoulder to cry on or i just a friend. How can i stop this and how can i get my confidence back?

[david616098]

For starters always make sure you let the girl know your intentions right from the word go mome guys seem to think you first become friends then much more later on down the line this usually doesnt work .

In terms of comfidence before you ask a girl out just look at it from this point of view what is the worst thing she could say ....no ...and if she says no you are no better off than you were if you didnt ask but she might say yes then it would be great so you dont really loose anything .

[CJS-81]

Remember that all your past failures defined who you are today - and think of all the wonderful things about you.

Ask yourself:
*What have I learned from my failures in relationships?
*How can I put what i've learned to good use? What statements can i say about myself now (be positive!)

i.e. "I have learned that i can sometimes be needy and possessive in a relationship, which can push my lover away from me. I am now working on being happy with myself and I have a large group of friends who will support me when i am in need. I understand my lover is their own person and i will trust them.

Or: "I have learned that i have trust issues, but I am going to focus on building my trust with women through focusing on the good relationships i have with them."