Never had sex - Problem

[valo616]

Im 18 and in college. I basically need to be under the influence of something to talk to women. I cant really walk up and talk to girls sober. That was the problem before all this other **** arose. Junior year of high school, my testicle rotated 540 degrees and it had to be removed cause for some reason the dopamine production in my brain is screwed up so i didnt feel anything really. Another thing is that im a vigin. There is a girl that i like and i have a feeling she likes me back but the thing is i dont really know how to proceed. Ive had a couple girlfriends in middle school but nothing major happened. Just ****ing drama. Another problem is that ive lived a pretty sheltered life. Ive never actually made out with a girl. Ive only got a ****ing peck on the cheek. I mean, its pretty sad in a way. I mean, i know this girl isnt a virgin cause she told me when we were talking outside the dorms. I changed the subject without her noticing i never gave a response. Seriously, I want to have a relationship but what will she think when im inexperienced in basically every area of a ****ing relationship. It really sorta scares me. I know that if we got drunk 2gether, things would definately happen. When shes drunk, she gets very very affectionate towards everything. I have a feeling we will just end up getting drunk and ****ing sometime in the near future. The thing about it is that i live at a catholic college that doesn't give out rubbers and its a good 12 minute drive to the nearest convieniece store and we both dont

[valo616]

have cars. I have a friend with a car but do you think hed get sketched out if i asked him to go on a cig run with him and buy rubbers. I mean, ive never ****ing done it be4 and i dont know the whole deal with the sizing and everything. Also the girl i like is bisexual and she says she lives out her bi fantasies when shes drunk. I mean, 2 girls at the same time. Id probally faint before i got to her room! I mean, ive always been a relatively solitary and quiet person and drugs and booze are the only things that can get me out of my shell so to speak. I mean, I make compliments to girls and everything. Im a different person. We are both very very affectionate people and hug eachother whenever we are both buzzed. The thing thats even wierder is the fact that my friend with the car i think used to like her or something. Now he finds her annoying as hell. I dont find her annoying at all. I mean, with her, shes the only girl i can actually talk to sober. For some reason, it comforts me to hear her voice and i have never met a girl i can actually talk to on a regular basis without my mind going a million miles an hour and blurting out something stupid. Seriously, ive talked to guys about my "problem down there" and they just made a ****ing joke about it.

[valo616]

Sorry everyone about the whole 3 post ****ing manifesto. I find that posting my problems to a supporting group of people who probally have been in a similar situation. She used to have a boyfriend but she broke up with him about a week and a half ago. I know for a fact shes not the kind of person who just ****s anyone when shes drunk. Shed do it if she knew that person very well such as me. I mean, when I got here, i made a promise to myself to be more outgoing to people. So far, it has worked great. I have friends. I am friends with a girl running for class president who i also feel pretty comfortable around but the girl ive been talking about is the person that i really care about. Someon give me some advice after they have finished reading these long ass posts for an hour! By the way, i just thought that this would be more suitible for the NEW TO SEX portion of the site so if a mod wants to move it, move away!

[BigKahuna]

I changed the subject without her noticing

If you think she didn't notice you not responding about the sexual experience, she did... at the very least at a subconcious level.

In terms of getting condoms, there are lots of ways. Going to the store is usually the easiest... In terms of size, unless you are really small or really big, the normal size should suffice. Unless your friend is really religious, he probably wouldn't care...

In terms of the bisexuality, most men would consider that hitting a jackpot. Since you are not neccessarily show worthy yet, you may want to say, or at least suggest stongrly, that you'd like to start things slower... that being said, a 2-1 could be a great memory for losing your v-status... (unless it comes with VD... so play safe!)

For some reason, it comforts me to hear her voice and i have never met a girl i can actually talk to on a regular basis without my mind going a million miles an hour and blurting out something stupid

This is part of the high that comes with infatuation... some refer to it as love... but don't worry about that, just enjoy the experience while its yours to experience.

She used to have a boyfriend but she broke up with him about a week and a half ago.

This is what is called the rebound... it is a very unstable state... so watch out...

---------------------

All that being said... you may want to reconsider this drunk plan of attack... main reason being drunk sex is never as good...

In terms of asking her out or some other non purposeful human obsession, forget all that "crap." Simply continue down the path, try to get some alone time, and when the moment feels right, go in for a kiss.

[valo616]

trust me i will dude seriously its like someone i can approach its seriously like i feel like shes someone i have hung out with for a long time except ive only known her for a few weeks

[valo616]

Something amazing happened to me today! Something that is going to change my life! This girl walked up to me and started talking to me. We started talking about religion and i just felt like i should kiss her because we were staring at eachothers eyes for about 5 minutes straight. I was about to kiss her (we were sitting under a statue of Mary holding baby Jesus) and i felt something i never have felt before. I felt whole again. Like in my soul. I mean, ive been doing drugs to rid me of my saddness and loneliness in my life and i felt like everything was just washed away. I felt emotion! Ive been feeling like a shell of a person since i began high school and i just felt like i used to as a child. I actually felt like i didnt need any drugs or booze for my problems. I felt as if some power entered my soul and made me feel like "me" again. I feel as if all my problems with confidence are gone. I mean ive believed in god since i was a child, went to mass, all of that but i feel like my life is changed permanently for the better. I mean, I have never cried in about 4 years. Not a tear at either of my grandparents funerals! I just feel so amazing. I mean, ive always believed in god but i mean i have never actually felt this presence in my life before. Things can only go up from here! I feel as if i had no need to make a physical connection with her. I felt like we had a deeper spiritual bond that is unyielding! I am a very heavy smoker and i always have constant nicotine cravings at least every hour. It has been over an hour and a half and i feel no need for them anymore. I believe i was using smoking as a way to fill a void inside me. Now that that void is no longer there, I have no need or craving anymore. This feels like the best day of my life! Those problems stated above no longer apply to me. As of now, i dont even care about sex. If this feeling sticks with me, ill never need sex. I thought of looking up porn but when i looked at it, i felt nothing towards it because the void i have been filling with my vices have been filled so i have not the slightest desire for it anymore. This has never happened. The last few nights, i have been watching that filth for at least 3 hours straight each night for the past few days. That was the only thing i felt that i had to look forward to at the end of the day. I have no desire for it! My recent years of my life can be classified in terms of weather as black skies and overcast. Right now, I feel as if there is a constant ray of sunshine shining upon me. Even now when it is night, i can still feel the warmth of my soul that was filled with anger, jealousy, fear, and resentment towards most everyone around me. Now those feelings are gone, I actually feel light shining through. My constant building anger towards people is gone. For once i can actually say that i am enjoying life and feeling good. Right now, I am going back outside and sitting near the statue and am going to be deep in thought. Throughout my life when i was feeling terrible, i was thinking that the fact i am religious, good things should happen to me. Now i understand when people say good things happen to people who wait! That statement finally holds true for me as i have always hoped it would. People can put really what they want on here as a response to this, just dont be saying this is all a drug induced write-a-thon. Its not! All of this is 100% true! This one day has showed me that although i have always believed in god, this one day showed me that he will do some pretty amazing stuff for people.

[Luvs2plzU]

drop the shrooms dude

[valo616]

I wasnt on drugs. They wore off long before i wrote that post!

[valo616]

I just discovered something. With my newfound change of personality, also my old bad habits came back to the surface. I just remembered why i changed my personality. I was very impulsive and up for anything. Also, I used to cut myself. I just started again today. I felt the same rush. The same lapse of pain and the escape. I dont know what is going to become of me anymore! Im sorta scared and in the same way excited of what the future might be. Yes. Cutting is bad. I know that. I look on other support boards and all that bull****. Its just little cuts. Yeah! Thats what i ****ing thought too when i was younger. Its just a little one. Until the days when you are depressed as **** and you just feel like practically cutting your leg off. I hope i never get to that point again. Seriously, If i ever find Amber (the girl under the statue), all my problems will go away! I gotta write my paper. Peace dudes! Seriously, posting this **** is theraputic! Its like free counceling. Also, nobody here says that im crazy except that guy who said im on drugs. Im not on shrooms! I cant wait for monday! The bi girl is coming back! Hoping for a 3-some this week. *crosses fingers* If that happened, i could die happy!

[Browser]

Talk to a psychologist. There's more going on here than you know, and you're in some serious stuff.