He's got a best girl-friend

[sayaka]

Hi,
I'm liking this guy who I met through one of my friends. She and him are really tight, it's almost like they're dating but they're not. I don't see him at all but i'm always feeling like I want him. He's hot and seems like a good guy, how do I get things going without doing any damage? I have no idea if she likes him or if he likes her secretly. I asked my friends if I should ask her about him but they said that she would definitely tell him; 'guys like to chase, not be chased'. What should I do?

[WallyLlama]

All generalities are false. Some guys like being chased. Some of the ones who do don't like to admit it.

A lot hinges on how you do the chasing. If she's just a "best friend" who happens to be a girl... and they are not a "couple" in the dating sense... well, there's no reason he can't have another friend.

It does seem like your choice is:

Tell her you are interested in a friendship with him but want to confirm that he's not "spoken for." If she tells him, so what? That helps you out some.

Tell him you are interested in a friendship with him but want to confirm that he's not "spoken for."

They key is, don't make it too serious. Don't tell her (or him) that you think he's hot. Just see if a friendship is okay... and see where it goes!

[Brandye]

Well, Call him!

[sayaka]

Hey Wallyllama and Brandye,
I recently heard that he's not a very good guy to be in a relationship with and none of my friends approve of him anyway. Thank you for your input, though!

[david616098]

Yea Talk to your friend and see how she feels about it then go for it . Guys dont mind being chased a good number of them actually love it .

[Newtolove]

as a guy I see nothing wrong with being chased unless it is for another reason

[skipgirl]

i'm kinda in a similar situation....i'm not datin my bf anymore but we still hang out and recently i lost my virginity to him....i always knew that he had this really close friend danielle but i didn't know HOW close they are...i've seen on facebook all these pictures of them together and i can't help but being a tad bit jealous...not that i can do anything cuz he's not my bf and i can't say anything cuz he'll prolly say "oh why are you overreacting she's just my friend" so i can't really do anything except continue to get jealous since i love him so much and seeing him w/ someone who could be the one who "replaces me" hurts a lot. what should i do?

[unknown11]

call him and set adate for both of u to hang out sumplace privte and talk to him about wut he thinks about many types of girlsand if u r bold jusskiss him then

[Marine_Corps._08]

Some guys love to be chased, I'm one of them. Try it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Lord girl, if he wants you, he'll get you to notice him. As he hasn't - he's not interested, let him go. Get over it. Move on. There are plenty of other guys out there.

Next time, if you like him - go up and say "hello".