What happened?

[samurai107]

I've been "seeing" this girl for several weeks and it's been going great. We texted and called eachother tons. She seemed to be really into me. I feel whole with her under my arm. We were a great pair.
So one night i text her and she says she is at a friends house and will call me back later. She doesn't. That was 3 days ago and still i haven't heard a word from her. It was unusual if we didn't talk to eachother for a day. How is it possible that she would lose interest that quick? Should I even bother calling her back? I feel as if she would make some attempt if she still wanted to be with me. Is she waiting for me to call?

[dancingdoc2]

Why not be the gallant man and just send here a quick "Hiya" messages stating something like, "I haven't heard from you in a few days and thought I would hear back from you after our last TM at your friends house."

"All is well here, ....... (you fill iln the rest)." Just keep the message short and sweet. Actually, a phone call would be better than a cellphone or internet message.

She may have been waiting for you to contact her after that visit. Don't try to figure it out or read anything more into why she has not contacted you until you hear back from her.

[samurai107]

Thanks a lot, ill let you know how it goes...

[dancingdoc2]

S T A N D I N G B Y!.....

[Browser]

Heh, that happens to me a lot. My girlfriend's busy as hell most of the time, and I have a fairly maliable schedual, so we often play phone tag until she's free.

[samurai107]

Sorry Doc, been forgetting to log on....Anyway i contacted her about it, sort of letting her know i was a bit confused. She denied any attempt to break of contact, acting as if nothing had happened at all. She was curious as to why I was inquisitive about the lack of contact. Women at times make less than plenty of sense to me. I've come to the conclusion that she's either forgetful or reluctant to initiate contact in a relationship. Calling me apparently "slips her mind". She does indeed seem into me and all that, she just does a poor job of expressing it. Thanks for you advice. Unfortunatly I will be leaving for college in a week, and will most likely not be in contact with her for a month or so.

[Browser]

You could also just be insecure about the relationship. It's quite common, and it's happened to me before. More often than not it was just nerves.

Communication's the key.

[dancingdoc2]

> I've come to the conclusion that she's either forgetful or reluctant to initiate contact in a relationship. Calling me apparently "slips her mind".

A part of manners and good etiquette is for man to initiate meetings, be they by phone, or a date, or whatever. This way of social interaction is changing a little at a time. There is nothing wrong with a woman calling a man, although not to has deep-seated roots. It is not unlike a woman asking a man to dance. As an instructor, I tell my students that it is OK for a woman to ask a man to dance when they are at the event to dance. She may or may not want to if dancing is secondary to the main purpose of the event.

> I will be leaving for college in a week, and will most likely not be in contact with her for a month or so.

What distance will be involved in your relationship. When I first went away to college I was fifty miles from home and could go home frequently. My h/s girlfriend attended a college across town so between transportation and schoolwork we might as well have been a world apart. Later, I attended college half way across the continent while she remained behind. Personally, unless a person is in the military or has a job that requires him or her to be away for an extended period of time, I do not think LDRs are worth it when just dating. When dating, and especially when college age and younger, I believe it is best not to have a committed relationship and to date lots of people. Better me thinks to be up close and personal rather than at a distance. If she in h/s or attending another college, the two of you will be experiencing new people, new ideas, and new perceptions of people and the world and this makes it very difficult to share and maintain a bond.

[samurai107]

Unfortunatlely, what I thought would be a revival in our relationship was little of the sort. I'm begining to encounter the same problem again. (Yeah ok, call me later.....She doesn't call.) I probably need to take a step back and let her do more of the work? It hurts me to think that she treats what I thought we had so poorly. Maybe has a more apathetic view of the relationship in general. I've decided to make a break. I will be 3 hours away, by train, in a week. A long distance relationship is out of the question. I wonder if she knows that i'll miss her sorely...Thanks for your help Doc.

[samurai107]

I know its childish but I would love to capitalize on an opportunity to get her back. The next time she asks me to call I'm fairly certain I'll blow her off cold. Maybe this would send a message of somesort to her...Would this be a fitting action or merely counterintuitive?