Just can't figure him out! Please Help!

[Kitty77]

This guy that I work with and I have had a flirtatous relationship for the last few months. He has touched every part of me and seen me completely naked via picture messages. We have also had phone sex. He moved onto another project in the company but continued to call me everyday. In fact, he contacted many supervisors to get me on the project as well. The week before I was to join the project we made plans to finally "get together". However, he never called. I did not bring it up to him when I joined the project. Within a few days he told me of a girl he met, who is working on the project, who calls him often and invited him back to her hotel room and that he hasn't gone but he probably will at some point. I was very good and displayed no jealousy and just brushed it off. I am just so confused because he put sooo much effort into us being together. He always calls me I never call him, he got me on the project and spoke of how much he was looking forward to being with me whenever he wanted. I just need to know why all the effort for nothing? Why did he change his mind? I can say to myself that he chose this other girl over me but by his reactions I know that is not the case.

[Luvs2plzU]

Rule #1(for that dewd)...never dip your pen in the company ink!!

[open to ideas]

Well it seems to me that the best way to know what is going on with him is to ask him. I mean we can speculate but none of us are him. My advice would be to ask him straight and in private. And maybe after the project together as you don’t want to make work uncomfortable.

[Kitty77]

It is so difficult because I am trying to play it cool like it doesn't matter. Isn't that what your supposed to do?

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by Kitty77

It is so difficult because I am trying to play it cool like it doesn't matter. Isn't that what your supposed to do?

Not if it does matter.

It'll be hard to figure out what he wants if you can't tell him what you want.

[Kitty77]

It does matter. He does matter. I just wish I knew if I mattered to him? Part of me wants to say screw it if he doesn't want to be with me his loss but I still want to be with him. I am just so bad at all the games! Guys always want what they can't have. I just don't know how to let him know that I still want to be with him without asking why he never called after he had put so much effort in up to that point. As for this other girl I don't know if he told me to make me jealous because I never asked why we did not get together or if he is hooking up with her. Ofcourse I want to ask him about her but I know I shouldn't.

[Kitty77]

Originally Posted by open to ideas

Well it seems to me that the best way to know what is going on with him is to ask him. I mean we can speculate but none of us are him. My advice would be to ask him straight and in private. And maybe after the project together as you don’t want to make work uncomfortable.

Well I was VERY BRAVE today and I did ask him and he said that a few days before we were supposed to "get together" when he called me and asked to come over I turned him down and that is why he did not call. Lame excuse I say. As for the other girl he said "When have you ever known me to go back to someones hotel?" I told him "I don't know that is what you said so I just figured you were going with that choice the wrong choice" I was very clear that I want to be with him and I told him if "you want it to happen it will happen" That is the one rule I know for sure If a guy wants to be with you he will work it out. I just need to not feel bad about myself if it doesn't happen and remember it is his loss

[TommyPinchaloaf]

My biggest advice to you is tread softly, cause if things go sour with this guy you still have to work with him.

When it comes to the seduction ritual, men are just as confused by women as women are about men. He may of got the impression you were toying with him, or is conflicted about your work relationship, or he is toying with you.

If your trying to just screw him, no heterosexual guy will turn down sex offererd to him, unless you are hideously unattractive, which is probably not the case.

If you want to date him try calling him once in a while, since claiming you hardly ever did, because playing too hard to get can send really mixed messages.

[Kitty77]

Thanks for the advice! No I am not hideously unattractive-thanks for the "probably" benefit of the doubt!