Avoid age difference or not?

[Herzen]

Hi guys, I've been coming to this place for a few months just to pick up stuff, but now I need some advice myself so here I am. Naturally it's the stupidest question to ask since I basically know the short answer myself but just can't expand on it. I'm hoping someone here has some experience or insight in this sort of situation because I don't.

I take the train to work every morning and there's a girl who gets on who I am extremely attracted to. I'm 19 and from what I can tell of her school uniform she is about 15. The age gap wouldn't bother me in a relationship, it just wouldn't, and I'm not worried about it because if it bothers her then so be it, really. However I cannot for the life of me think of how to approach her and it's the age gap that causes this.

She usually stands on one side of the carriage doors, but the other day she was sitting down so I went and sat next to her. She always has her damn mp3 player in her ears so I thought I'd make use of it rather than do nothing, and wrote "who are you listening to" on my hand and showed it to her. We had about ten seconds worth of conversation before it was my stop and I had to leave.

This week all I've gotten out of her is a returned smile that I could best describe as merely polite. I want to go and talk to her some more but I don't know what to say, because of this age gap. I can't think of any topic other than her school life, and I'm unsure whether to use that because it might call attention to the age difference.

But then again, it might be stupid idea to try and ignore the difference. This is my main question, should I avoid the age diff or not? It seems to me right now that the age difference doesn't matter because we're basically just two people, not a (legal) adult and a high school student. Of course that notion goes out the window when she gets on the train, so I'm totally confused. Have I got the right idea with this? Should I take the age difference into account or what?

Edit: I've also considered just saying to her that I've totally got it bad for her but I dunno whether that's such a great idea.

[WallyLlama]

I'd be interested in the short answer you already have.

I would hope it goes like this: you do not have a relationship with this girl; you have a fantasy and it's a bit of a dangerous one. Your problem is not finding topics of conversation; your problem is that what you are doing could be considered borderline stalking of a child and a bit creepy. Age DOES matter.

Given you've had ten seconds of conversation with her the basis for your attraction is purely physical. You are a legal adult; she's a cute kid in a uniform who's unfortunately (for her) polite. How do you spell "predator?"

If a security guard was in the car he'd probably "unconfuse" you in about three minutes.

[ensekofti]

wally has a point, but i wanna let u know that in my country (cyprus) nowdays this (19 boys with 15 girls) is really common!!!

[Browser]

The mere fact that others do it does not by itself justify an action in any way.

[ClockWork]

One of my friends sisters got into a "thing" with an older guy. My friend beat the crap out of him so bad that the guy never had any contact with the girl, or, anyone from the family again.
I think at the time she was sixteen and the guy was twenty.
My advice:
Steer clear, for the sake of both of you. Find someone who is around your age, and stick with that.

[Luvs2plzU]

well there is a BRILLIANT way of handling things!!

[Paraclaisian]

Herzen - I'm going to have to agree with the other people who replied. AT THAT AGE an age difference can be a huge problem. You are going to be operating in completely different worlds, with different expectation and differents maturities. Now, I do also want to say that I don't have anything against relationships with age gaps; they just need to be between mutually older people than you are right now. My fiance and I are 8 years apart, and our relationship is very good. But we are also older than you and your crush. She is too much younger, not in numbers, but in maturity. If you meet her again in 10 years, no one would even look twice at a 4 year difference. But right now it's too much.

[full3ffect]

the girl im with now just turned 18 and im about to be 21. shes an aquaintances younger sister and i never really talked to her though i though she was real cute. at the time she was 17 and i was 20. at first her sister and her friends(all classmates of mine & friends of mine) got kind of deffensive cause i was trying to get with the younger sister but now it seems theyve backed off because they can see i really do like her. i started just like you, always saw her around and thought she was cute, just didnt know how to approach her.

[star49gp]

Well sorry ppl I have to disagree depending on the actuall age of the girl what if he is wrong and she is like 17 or 18 but looks younger. I was 15 and I dated a man who was 21 so I would be a hypacrit if I said no don't age matters. I would just try to talk to her and actually see if your right on the age and when you hear how old she is you'll know whether or not to chase it out or not. cuz there is a too young!!

[NizeGie]

I'm sorry, but a 19-year-old guy with a 15-year-old girl is creepy, not to mention illegal (if you go very far) in many places.

25 with 21, fine.

It's not so much about the age difference as the age.