the age game

[NothingLikeAVigin]

i've seen all these rules about age gaps on this board like 18 year olds are to date people 2 yrs older max, but my question is are they set in stone? i'm 18 and i have fallen for a man who is 25 (26 in september). some people gasp at the age difference and other shrug their shoulders, our age has never bothered us in fact it rarely is ever talked about between me and him. so can it be that the age rule is out dated in this day in age, or is it the situation, or is it fact of life?

[dancingdoc2]

No, of course these are not set in stone; they are however rules of thumb based upon how people continue to mature and probably statistics taken from studies that show that more often than not when there is to great an age spread for a given age, couples tend to have problems.

[Brandye]

Women tend to mature, physically and emotionally, a few years ahead of men. You are in a stage where you have "outgrown" your peers and older men are therefore more appealing. Over time you will mature even more and the relationship may not be so appealing then.

By my calculation the other rule of thumb, the seven year itch, will be setting in as you are entering your sexually most demanding time.

No rules, these are things considered.

[ocean-x]

Hi, I myself am a 17 year old female. I've recently started seeing a 34 year old guy. I know it sounds wrong but we both love each other and if that is the case then don't let anyone bully you into thinking its wrong. The age rule is just bleh in this day and age because if you love someone you tend to still be with them whether they are years older or not. So i'd say if you like this guy give it a go between you, you never know things might be perfect.

[1pinklady]

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for 1 year and 3 months. I think the date rule is ridiculous. I think it all depends on what you are ready for. I think it's only society's dream to say what is right and wrong. I have dated a 36 year before when I was 17. My boyfriend now is great. I am still growing and learning, but we have learned to take out all the drama out of our life and focus on things we want. He is a great person for me to have in my life. And he has always been there to show me how to look at life objectively instead of emotionally and I think it's great. So to you NothingLikeAVirgin focus on your relationship and know what you can and can't handle. If it doesn't work out at least your learning! Keep your head up!!

[WallyLlama]

Nice to see and hear the support for age gap relationships... as has been noted, they are not without their practical considerations. But if it works, it works. Don't base your relationship on statistics.

I think one key is that you don't simply say "age doesn't matter" and pretend that differences (any and all... age, race, religion...) do not exist. Ultimately the only important question is whether or not you both want to (and can) manage the differences.

[thetease13]

I'm in my 20s and with someone about 20 years older than me. Some people have a problem with that but whatever. I don't and he doesn't. Way back when when we first started this we talked about a bunch of things. I told him that age didn't bother me (and obviously didn't bother him) and if it did, we wouldn't be doing this.
There is no set forth rule that you have to date people within a certain age gap. If you want to make it work, you can make it work.

[ageless_gypsy]

I am nineteen and my boyfriend is 25. We are most definitely at different stages in our life, but it doesn't bother either of us. We are both learning from each other, and I wouldn't give him up for the world, much less a simple age gap.

[bob123]

and im over her thinking me and my girlfriend who is 16 and me 19 are far apart. i guess i was wrong. weve been together 2 years and i wouldnt trade her for anyone. sure some people say stuff but im past that

[Hero]

I'm 22 seeing someone that is 18, I've never even seen it as a remote issue.
I know the age gap you are talking about is larger, but still, it is nothing to worry about.
My parents have been happily married for 20 years or so, my dad is 14 years older than my mum.