Talking on the phone for hours...

[Jay Bee]

My GF (of 4 months) and I talk on the phone for hours and hours every night. I like it, she likes it. It's a LDR and we don't get to see eachother as much as we would like, so we talk a lot. Lately people have been telling me that it's probably not the best idea...

I don't know, it isn't really drawn out... Of course there are short pauses here and there but for the most part we just talk and talk, about anything and everything. I even asked her what she thought about it, she said she didn't think it was bad. We talked for 4 hours the night before last, and 8 HOURS lastnight, that was the longest phone call we've had, but we were talking/laughing/still learning about each other pretty much the whole time...

I don't know, is it really that bad? I don't want us to get bored of each other (I don't want her to get bored with me). If it is really that bad, how would I go about cutting it down a little without her thinking I just don't want to talk to her as much?

[Newtolove]

hell you feel fine ? does she ? well then whats the problem if you feel good about it then why not ? I phone a girl up now and then as I am in Italy and she in England with not much in mind to say and we just get to talking and talking ok it is for like an hour but we are not in a relationship just friends but great friends and maybe one day more - sigh at this distance - so whats all the fuss about ? relationships are supposed to be about communicating right ? so you communicate is that a problem is it putting your relationship at risk ? I don't think so, sometimes you'll find you have the answer yourself just think about it do i feel ok with it does she ? then you know if it is good or bad for YOU and HER who care what another thinks

[WallyLlama]

I find it interesting... people are often critical of LDRs but it often seems that couples in them are communicating a thousand times better than people who live together and spend every waking moment in the same space.

Now... if your life is on hold and all you do is talk on the telephone... well, that might be a little excessive. That may be what people are telling you... even if you were not in an LDR, your relationship needs to be part of your life and that means you need to have lives. If you both sat on couch and talked every night for 4-8 hours... well, somebody needs to go shopping for groceries, right?

Just make sure you both are keeping some balance in your lives.

[Newtolove]

hm yes that is a point but the communication in itself is not bad unless it leads you to dismiss other things that are important

[Jay Bee]

Thanks, yeah we still take care of everything we need to take care of, and both still have our own lives. We just talk late at night, she has cut down on going out (to clubs) with her friends/cousins and stays in to talk to me instead, which is fine by me. (not that she did it a lot before)

The 2 times we have talked for 7-8 hours (did it again lastnight) was when she didn't have school in the morning. Start talking at 9-10, talk till about 5-6am...

But we're definitely not stopping each other from doing what we need to do, we talk to each other about it and make sure that we're not. If she had to get up early, or if I had an important test in school we would make sure the other got enough sleep...

[Newtolove]

then fire away brother by the way what phone arrangment have you got ? that must get mighty expensive perhaps ?

[Jay Bee]

nah, she doesn't have a cell phone but I do and I have free nights & weekends 9pm-7am... So she'll either use her sisters phone (w/ free nights & weekends) or I'll call her house (still free), so it's good. It's funny, the way it is right now we don't talk during the day at all, unless it's sat or sun.

But we plan on getting phones together with free mobile to mobile...

[Newtolove]

yyea great something I can't do from Italy to england pity. she has no internet connection and no mobile phone now as it was stolen oh well