Should I Be Jealous or worried?

[LuciousN.I.C]

Me and my girlfriend dated for almost a year and a half. Then she broke up with me for another guy. I knew she really liked me still and just wanted to be with someone else for some time. They went out for 8 months but the entire time she was cheating on him with me. She broke up with him and we talked and worked out some stuff and now we are going out again. We have been together for 2 months now and I know she loves me and I love her but she is still really good friends with her ex. I know he still loves her but she tells me she doesn't love him anymore. Since I know she cheated on him..should I be worried or should I get jealous when they hang out or talk on the phone? She is always telling me that I have nothing to worry about. What do you think?

[dancingdoc2]

Such drama. I think you need to date lots of girls for the next couple of years or so in order to sample what humanity has to offer so that when the time does come to select Ms Right, you will be better prepared. Also, by not entering into an exclusive relationship for the time being, you eliminate all the problems you mention while at the same time giving all concerned time to mature and acquire additional life experience.

Look around, we've recently had a discussion on cheating. Do a search on the term "cheating" for threads over the past few weeks.

[LuciousN.I.C]

Yeah I know some tiem apart might be a nice idea. But you know how that stupid love thing gets to us. I'm terrified of losing her. I mean the last time we went out it was so perfect until she met him. And we are graduating soon so I am afraid that if we seperate now we may move away and never see each other again.

[dancingdoc2]

You missed my point entirely.
It is not that you should spend some time apart, rather, that you simply not date her or any other person exclusively for two or three years. The purpose of dating is to learn what types of people are out there in the world so that you can hopefully make better choices when the time does come to home in on one person.

Also, by not focusing on one person you eliminate all the drama associated with close interpersonal relationships that as young maturing adults, you are still not equipped to handle. You really need to get out there in the world and date lots of different people right now.

[1pinklady]

I really think you should keep your options open like dancingdoc2 said. She doesn't seem to sensitive to what she is doing. She may not be seeing that she is creating so much drama. You are barely graduating and your afraid of never seeing her again?? You still have your whole life in front of you!!! You have yet to meet an awesome girl who wants to be with just YOU!!! In the meantime... you should avoid being around her. Cut off the temptation. It will be better for you in the long run.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by LuciousN.I.C

Yeah I know some tiem apart might be a nice idea. But you know how that stupid love thing gets to us. I'm terrified of losing her. I mean the last time we went out it was so perfect until she met him. And we are graduating soon so I am afraid that if we seperate now we may move away and never see each other again.

There are some unasked questions.

Why are you terrified of losing her?

And what does "having her" mean... to you and to her? (Reading between the lines, it sounds like it means different things to each of you.)

This is probably about you both figuring out what you want out of life and what you want out of your relationship with each other. There's nothing wrong with wanting security, but a positive relationship involves a lot more than not being afraid.

The cart has to go before the horse. If the relationship is working, the security should follow. Instead of worrying about the things that might threaten your relationship, look at the relationship... why you are both in it... what you both want from it... and how you are going to get that together.

[Hero]

It sounds to me from the information given that she isn't worth the time you spend with her.
She is lucky you are giving her a second chance after what she did, it should be you calling the shots if she's serious about you.

I would end it, there will be another relationship just around the corner, a better one. There are nice girls around, so why waste time on someone that is capable of hurting you in the way she has.

[LuciousN.I.C]

thank you everyone for all of your help. Maybe it would be best if I took time to see what my other options are..
Thanks for the help.