keeping restraint!

[little-geek]

So I'm seeing this pretty fantastic boy and although we havent been together very long I really enjoy everything we do together.
Everytime we are together it usually ends up getting pretty hot n' heavy.
We've both never had sex and we talked about it and came to the conclusion that we want to wait for a while before we go all the way.
Problem is everytime we get together restraint seems to fly out the window.
Everytime we see eachother we go further and i'm pretty sure if left to out own devices we would end up going all the way.
i was just wondering if theres anything i can do to..well..protect me from what i want for lack of a better term!
any help is appreciated!

thanks!

[dancingdoc2]

Traditionally, the woman is the one in the partnership who sets limits or boundaries. The reason is that they are better able to multitask for lack of a better term. You can be full of lust or passion and lost in the heat of the moment, yet there is a corner of your mind that is always vigilant. There is nothing that says a guy can't also be responsible, also, although it is harder and we are less reliable.

What is your boundary, today? Whatever it is, when he approaches it, let him know in no uncertain terms that this is far enough. You can say "No", "this is far enough", or, whatever else you want that is a definite indicator that he/you are to go no farther. You can also place your hand on his and stop him, or even remove his hand; whatever works.

You are free to extend the previous limit to some new position if you want any time you are comfortable with each other and your level of intimacy. He will discover that you have extended your boundary by proceeding up to the old limit and when you do not stop him, he will just continue to make out until you do. This action is called "Implied Consent". You do not have to actually tell him you have extended your boundary, instead you let him discover this on his own by giving him consent (implied) to go further by not stopping him until he actually does reach the new limit.

To make all this work, and because you have expressed reservations about being able to maintain control, the two of you need to agree on what your present boundary will be and agree to stop each other when you reach that point. You absolutely are responsible for "waking up" out a state of bliss, and making sure this happens. If need be, incorporate any one of a number of fear factors.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

Traditionally, the woman is the one in the partnership who sets limits or boundaries. The reason is that they are better able to multitask for lack of a better term.

I don't think it has to do with multitasking. I think it's a defense mechanism because if a girl doesn't set the boundaries then she is prone to getting used for sex and tossed aside.

[Brandye]

Make contracts: this far and no farther. Then no one is disappointed with a hesitation. A favorite of mine was that NEVER would both sets of genitalia be bare at the same time.

[upintheair]

I asked basically this same question not long ago and got some good advice.. look here: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dati...move_slow.html