Disharmony

[blue_collar_joe]

Mind, body, and heart have all just thrown themselves out of harmony.

About 4 months ago, 3 months after a failed engagement (red-headed demon), I'd finally come to terms with the breakup and moved completely on (minus a touch of bitterness). I've been living quite contently the past 4 months with 70 hours of work a week, the gym, a little bit of alcohol and a little bit of weed. Then, after a trying to meet with someone and having it fall through, I can't stop wondering what I truly want. My body obviously craves sex day and night, my mind craves just a kindred mind with which to speak, and my heart wants love. Nothing makes sense anymore, and just over a single missed coffee date? The only thing I can say is "What the ****?!?!?"


Any opinions?

[Brandye]

We redheads can be a problem!!

Healing takes a while. If you progressed as far as engagement, that is a lot to heal from. Cut back the work, slightly, the booze and drugs, greatly; increase time at the gym and finding an outside interest that may involve women.

[blue_collar_joe]

Can't cut back on work, I have to buy a new car. Gym gets an hour and a half 4 times a week, can't really push it much longer or I will hurt myself. Alcohol is maybe 1 a week, weed sadly is what's keeping me somewhat balanced at this moment. (That implies addiction, and I know that all too well. It's just a vice that I need to control, no different than tobacco).

I have no feelings except bitterness toward red-headed demon situation. Yet for some reason she wants to talk to me still...and I can't figure out why, because I let loose (and I mean LET LOOSE) on her when we broke up. It was 8 months of holding my feelings back that I let out on her, and that helped me a whole lot.

It feels like every time I make some progress in figuring out who I am and doing what I need to do that will make me happy, I find some way to take 8 steps back and be worse off than I was. Why can't I let myself just be happy and not give a **** like I did last week?

[WallyLlama]

Success comes in cans -- not in can nots.

Weed is a lot different than tobacco... I seriously doubt that it is keeping you "balanced." It's more likely making you high.

So you are probably too tired, too high (opportunity there to save some money for the car, BTW), too self-absorbed to figure out what will make you happy.

Have you figured out that what you are doing doesn't?

Because then you'd consider that doing some different things might.