Relationship Timeline

[ShyChobit]

First of all I wasn't too sure what to put in the search engine for this so if this question has already been answered, plz forgive this n00b.

I am 19 and I have just started an awsome relationship with this wonderful guy. The thing is I have not been in any type of relationship before.

I would like to know on a general timeline when things usually happen. Like intimate touching. 3 weeks? months? Groping? What about sex itself? 3 months, 9, a year? etc.

I just don't want to seem too easy or slutty and a general idea would give me some piece of mind when things start to get hot n heavy down the road...

like I said, I don't want to seem easy... but I don't want to be an old maid either...

[Lass]

It's different with every relationship. My relationship has always been fast paced and I like it that way.

If you're having to ask when something is right, you yourselve aren't prepared for it.

[batman527]

There's no specific timeline to this. It all depends on the relationship, and the two people in it. There's no reason to write up a schedule or anything, just go with the flow. If it feels right at the time, go for it. If it doesn't feel right, stop. It's that simple. You also need to be in communication with your partner, making sure you're on the same page, because odd are that you won't be. Then you may get on the same page, only to find yourself on different pages again later. Just go with it, and remember this: if it doesn't feel right, or you're uncomfortable with it, stop immediately. I don't care if you've already started something, if it gets to a point where you don't like it, cut if off. If it doesn't feel right, and you do it anyway, you're going to regret it. Talk about it with him, a good guy will be understanding no matter what.

[ShyChobit]

If you're having to ask when something is right, you yourselve aren't prepared for it.

Hey, I'm know when something is right and what not... I just don't want to come off as someone easy. I don't mind the speed, just the fact that I might appear easy.

If it doesn't feel right, stop. It's that simple. You also need to be in communication with your partner, making sure you're on the same page, because odd are that you won't be. Then you may get on the same page, only to find yourself on different pages again later. Just go with it, and remember this: if it doesn't feel right, or you're uncomfortable with it, stop immediately.

thank you for the advice. He has been a perfect gentleman and we are pretty much on the same page. If something didn't feel right we'd stop.I was just worried that a fast paced relationship was... abnormal.

[batman527]

Originally Posted by ShyChobit

...He has been a perfect gentleman and we are pretty much on the same page. If something didn't feel right we'd stop.I was just worried that a fast paced relationship was... abnormal.

Good to hear. I wouldn't worry about going too fast. I mean, it's going to take both of you to do it, so it's not like he could call you a skank without calling himself a skank. You seem to have your head on straight, I'm sure every thing will turn out fine. Good luck!

[busta]

really there is no timeline. me and my girlfriend were kissing on our second date (a week after we started going), nearly our first, but i know some people who hadnt kissed their girlfriend/boyfriend and they had been going out for 6 months. the time is all different for different relationships, when your partner and you are ready for 'the next stage'

[Lackadaisical]

You'll figure it out...if you wanna do it, then do it (I mean anything, not sex). If you're worried about being called a slut, don't do it. That means that on some level, you're not ready.

[batman527]

I don't know about that. She may be totally mentally prepared for the experience, but she fears society's response to the act. We're still pretty Victorian in our views on sex as a society, and women are burdened with labels far more often than men are. A guy and gal doing it may end up with to completely different labels from the same experience. He'll get called "stud", and she'll get called "whore". It's really messed up, but that's the way it is. In this situation specifically, she's afraid that even her boyrfriend will think that she's a "whore" if she moves to fast. That shows you the depth of the problem in society. It's one hell of a tightrope walk between "whore" and "prude", and I feel awful for all the women of the world that have to walk that rope so carefully.

[Lackadaisical]

if she's afraid of societies response, in my opinion, that is a level of not ready. when you are completely ready, then you are not worrying about the results, or after-effects.
Also, this would have a lot to do with the man you are with. I've been with my Boyfriend for two years, adn we haven't had sex yet, but everythign else went on a fast timeline. However, I have never had any worries about his or anyone elses opinion of me.

[Brandye]

Read "Am I Ready" in Chick Chat