Doe she like her bestfriend?

[Kazman]

lol, I wonder if anyone will read through this, but I just have to get this out since it's hard to tell any of my friends over the phone or on MSN about all the details and background of this...

Despite being sick with mono (I'm almost better WOOHOO *knock on wood*), I spent a lot of time last week with this new girl. Since last monday, we talked on the phone at least 3-5 times a day, would send lots of txt msgs, and saw each other a few times. She seemed to be really into me and was treating me very well. Well, here's the thing that's got me.

This guy, Eric, is supposedly her best friend. He is a friend of a cousin that she met 6 years ago, and from what I gather, she hasn't seen him since then. He lives in another city. But she tells me he has helped her out through all her difficult times, and they chat and talk on the phone a lot. Well, just as chance would have it, as soon as her and I start developping something, this guy announces he is coming to visit her in a month because he will be joining the military. All she can talk about is Eric, and just the way she talks about him, it really makes one wonder if there's more than just a friendship.

Well, on saturday night, she was comparing my relationship with her to her relationship with Eric. And she noted that recently she's talked to Eric more than she's talked to me. WTF?! We talk on the phone non-stop, msg each other non-stop, and have hung-out twice in the past two days, AND I'm sick with mono AND I have exams to worry about. So the whole situation with her and Eric was troubling me, and I guess this was quite apparent to her. So she asked me if I had a problem that her bestfriend was a guy. I told her that many of friends are girls, and that it's ok with me. I then noted, that stuff has happened between me and my female friends in the past, and that she does seem to have quite an interest in Eric. I then asked her point blank, "Do you have feelings for Eric?" There was total dead silence on the phone for the next 10 seconds. She then got mad at me for even suggesting such a thing and starting saying I don't trust her ect ect.

We haven't talked or communicated in any way since that phone call. She wants to know what we (her and I) are. If we are a couple or just friends or what. Before we got off the phone she said, "Just remember my phone is always on." She obviously wants me to phone her back, but I really don't know what to say. After this, I am in a constant debate as to whether I actually care about her or not. We are supposed to go out next weekend on an official date, but I don't know if this is still going to happen...

My question is, do you think I was out of line? Would you be suspicious if your new gf was raving about another guy on a regular basis? What's your general opinion on this?

Also, have any of you dated or had romantic feelings towards a realy close friend of the opposite sex?

For additional info on this girl, check out this thread. Looks like that's not going to happen now lol

[pozzolane]

Have you thought about the likely possibility that while shes talking to her best friend she's raving about you?

I can see how she would be upset that you asked her if she had feelings for her friend. I would be too. You do come off like as if you do not trust her even in your post.

You should give her the benefit of the doubt until given blatent evidence as to not trust her.

[Kazman]

Thanks for the reply, pozzolane. You are correct. I was out of line. She was (and I think still is) really pissed off at me. When she told me she was pissed off, that really hurt. Such harsh words, but I guess mine were even harsher. I rarely make people mad. Heck, I can't even remember the last time I made someone mad (besides my dad or sister, we get mad at each other almost every day lol).

Well, I finally phoned her yesterday to appolagize. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but then I totally froze and made an ass out of myself lol. Luckily, she was at work and said she'd phone me back later. I almost didn't think she'd phone me back, but she did I appolagized and said it was wrong for me to assume etc. It still sucks though. Since last week, things between us have dwindled down to like nothing. That makes me soo sad. This girl is just amazing. She's so kind and caring, but yet she can be aggresive. My problem is, when I'm around a girl I like, I just don't know how to act, and I usually don't say much or act very fun, and it's just brutal. This is especially true around hot girls (as shallow and superficial as that may sound). And it's even more true since for the past while, I have been sick and I have been stressed with school. I guess this is why throughout my entire life, I've always attracted girls that I'm not attracted to. This is only the second or third time that a girl I'm interested in is also interested in me. It's all so new to me *sigh*

[pozzolane]

I've given a few others who are in the same boat as you this same advice.

Just relax! Don't try to push the relationship in a direction it wouldn't otherwise head in. Let happen what will happen. If she's interested in you let that naturally build. Your appology to her is as much as you can do. Now just move on with her. Don't dwell on it. This might aggrivate her even more if you do.

It isn't unnatural to feel jealousy towards someone you really like if you figure they give someone else the attention you want from them. But remember she's with you! not the other guy!

Take it easy and enjoy the moments.

Good Luck

[Newtolove]

well as far as I can tell as you have yet to go on the "official" date are you her boyfriend. until you are such she is fair game to anyone really but if she has known this bloke 6 years and is not romanticly involved with him then that should answer your question before you ask her