Meeting decent girls

[the dude]

ok it's really not that urgent, but I would appreciate a lot of answers. I'm having a pickle of a time trying to meet decent girls. What I mean is putting myself in places around my city where I could meet girls with similar interests. I'm 21 and I don't dig the whole bar scene, getting wasted off my ass every weekend, or being a man-whore for that matter.

I like girls that are smart, fit, don't smoke and don't drink too often, non-slutty, attractive obviously, outgoing and hopefully the same age, perhaps older.

Where can I find people like this? The library?? The only decent idea I've had so far would be to take a co-ed yoga class. Does anyone have any suggestions? If anything I've said is hazy let me know.

[champloo]

for one thing, i dont suggest heading to the club/bar scene, because

one, you said you dont like the bar scene

two, if you DID go to the bar scene, its doubtful you will find a non-slutty girl who doesnt drink to much (your in a bar, she must be there for something....unless the bar has really great food and stuff)

three, if you go to a club, you are probably likely to find non-slutty girls (as said above) depending on what club you go to. although, you would find girls in the 20's and early 30's (if that is what you prefer, my 33 yr old aunt still goes clubbin') there, so you have your age issue.

but, they may also be smart ( some smart girls drink) but might smoke if they drink. also, being outgoing might not fit into a club hopper.

if you go to a co-ed yoga class, which im not too familiar with (im guessing it is a type of aerobics?) you might be categorized as a "friend" instead of a possible "boyfriend". although i could be comepletely wrong.

any kind of chick will go to a library, except maybe the extra slutty. i see many different "types" of women go into the library here.

sounds like you are looking for an outgoing younger chick who takes risks but is aware of her health (no smoking=good condition. minor drinking isnt good but is better than a hardcore drinker. im guessing minor would be like champagne on occasions and wine on romantic dates and such), that also is pretty attractive and can balance your checkbook with no serious problems.

[Rosie]

ummmmm well i go to bars n clubs not too often, im 19 nearly 20 dont smoke play heaps of sport, n def have never slept around and go to uni and that is the same as alot of my friends, soooooo i don't like the fact u r classifying all girls in my age bracket that go to clubs as "slutty" (champloo) that really annoyes me. i dont go to clubs to 'pick up' but just to have a good time with mates, so i think ur perception of women is very naive.

anyway....
to answer your question,
i have met alot of nice guys through uni, similar interests same tutes labs etc: maybe get involved with some uni sports? mixed volleyball, soccer? if u go to uni that is. if not maybe local rec centre? when teams dont have enough players you can put ur name on lists to fill in and people call you up if they need someone to fill a spot, thats good way. i take drama classes meet some awesome, outrageous people there! i have never been on a date with a guy who has tried to pick me up at a club, i hear the same sleezy lines (but not all men that go to clubs are like this) someone who comes out with a totally different spin on things would def get my attention!
if you really want to you can do 'speed dating' i don't know where you live but they have that sort of thing in Australia.

however u have to take it as it comes i dont think you can exactly 'plan' to meet women or men that you may be interested in, i think it happens when you least expect it, you have the right attitude just keep putting urself out there.

hope that helps somehow...

[champloo]

im not here to flame, but..

Originally Posted by champloo

if you go to a club, you are probably likely to find non-slutty girls (as said above) depending on what club you go to.

you can look and see for yourself, it says non slutty girls.

and,

Originally Posted by champloo

if you DID go to the bar scene, its doubtful you will find a non-slutty girl who doesnt drink to much

it says it there too. it is doubtful to find a non-slutty girl who doesnt drink to much. that means that it is unlikely to find a girl that isnt much of a drinker.

in both i never said that girls who go clubbing, or go to a bar are slutty. i never said that.

but you make a good point, things always seem to happen when you least expect it

[Rosie]

well i suggest you rephrase yourself, make your statement clear you seem to have many contradictions (your comment about the "extra slutty" at the library) try not to classify women as "slutty" and "non slutty" it is rude and does not instil much faith in ur maturity at 14. ,
not to flame but...

[Newtolove]

1 make lots of friends as u meet other people thru friends. don't nevcesarily class someone that drinks a glass of wine a drinker (in negative sencse). I don't know where you are but here in italy it is perfectly normal to drink a couple of glasses of wine a day (i drank 3 yesterday with easter dinner), wine is actually healthy (in moderation) so start putting aside the high clasification mode and just look around at people and say ok I like her a lot and her maybe a bit less but not by using a ruler or u'll be 80 and still without a girl.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Newtolove

1 make lots of friends as u meet other people thru friends. don't nevcesarily class someone that drinks a glass of wine a drinker (in negative sencse). I don't know where you are but here in italy it is perfectly normal to drink a couple of glasses of wine a day (i drank 3 yesterday with easter dinner), wine is actually healthy (in moderation) so start putting aside the high clasification mode and just look around at people and say ok I like her a lot and her maybe a bit less but not by using a ruler or u'll be 80 and still without a girl.

All he said was that he wanted a girl who "doesn't drink too often". There's nothing wrong with that. So let's stop harping on the drinking aspect of it.

[Luvs2plzU]

Uhhhhhh Cham-POO is like 13 or 14, take the advice with a grain of salt.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by the dude

ok it's really not that urgent, but I would appreciate a lot of answers. I'm having a pickle of a time trying to meet decent girls. What I mean is putting myself in places around my city where I could meet girls with similar interests. I'm 21 and I don't dig the whole bar scene, getting wasted off my ass every weekend, or being a man-whore for that matter.

I like girls that are smart, fit, don't smoke and don't drink too often, non-slutty, attractive obviously, outgoing and hopefully the same age, perhaps older.

Where can I find people like this? The library?? The only decent idea I've had so far would be to take a co-ed yoga class. Does anyone have any suggestions? If anything I've said is hazy let me know.

Dude,

I know where you're coming from; I was in your shoes when I was younger, looking for basically the same thing.

First of all, do you go to college? If not, you'll need to actively pursue a social life because it isn't easy without drinking/bars.

I have one recommendation: internet personals. Just sign up and do it. You will find far better matches than going to a bar and meeting girls in the haze of drunkeness anyway. Bars are the worst place on earth to meet quality people.

Date as many different girls as your bank account will allow. Don't treat each date as life or death; just do it with the idea of meeting more girls and expanding your social life.

I did this years ago and made several female friends. One of the girls I dated set me up with a friend of hers on a blind date and a year and a half later we were married. We've been married for 6 years now and it all started with a blind date that I had no expectations for other than to meet someone new.

Also, I introduced another of the girls I met through internet dating to my buddy and they've been married for 6 years now. Once again, there were no expectations other than to meet new people that you have something in common with.

Just do it.

[pozzolane]

Lets get to the truth of the matter here. You can meet women anywhere.

Let me repeat that: Anywhere!

You just have to have the courage to approach them. That's the key. The reason why bars are so popular is because alcohol lets people shed their inhibitions. This is also why it's not really the greatest idea. Ever hear the expression, "Go to bed at 2 with a 10, wake up at 10 with a 2"?

I suggest just working up the courage to start approaching women in all different types of places. Such as coffee shops, grocery stores, clothing departments...etc

the only thing is when doing this you might not be welcomed if you just walk up and spout out "hello my name is so and so, its nice to meet you"

So I'll give you an example of a situation that might start a conversation to get you a coffee date or something.

Ex:
If in a clothing department, pick up a shirt and walk up to an attractive girl and say something like, "excuse me, I'm just here to buy a couple of shirts but I don't have anyone with me for a second opinion." Then hold up the shirt to your chest and say, "in your honest opinion, do you think this shirt compliments me?"

See how the convo fits the atmosphere? After something like this you can choose to take the conversation anywhere you like.

Also, the most receptive in this clothing store case might be the cute girl working the register.

Good Luck