Internet dating

[mayfair5050]

Im just wondering what anyone has to say about internet dating, from both a male and female point of view. Does it and can it work? Does anyone have advice for how to succeed? Any success storys? Any failure storys?

[batman527]

It sucks. I have one semi-experience with this. All I can say is that a person's online self may be nothing like their real-life self. If you instant message, you know what I mean. I'm a big believer in vibe, body language, and the like. If you take those things out of an encounter, you're not getting a true feel for the other person. I personally think that you have to actually be with the other person to "be with" the other person.

[moose_hd]

If you are talking specifically about dating websites, then I say this: Women that are at least moderately attractive will receive plenty of attention, but lots of these men will be dogs, of low value, only interested in a 1 night encounter, etc. Quality guys are less common and will be drowned out by the din of the proletariat. Overall it is an unenviable situation and the only real success I have seen is when women 'hide' their profiles and go hunting for men instead of waiting to be contacted and sifting through many incoming messages.

If you are a guy, your chances are slim and you're probably better off pounding the pavement and trying to find a lady IRL. Maybe you could write some amazing profile and have a really excellent picture of yourself for potential success, but overall your odds are not good.

The only exception I have really seen is eHarmony... it is quite expensive BUT they apparently use some sort of highly successful matching engine. You must take a long survey and can ONLY contact people who it matches you with. Supposedly they are responsible for thousands of successful marriages. It is also (allegedly) the only site that has a shortage of men.

[The1stTriSexual]

It worked for my fiancee and me. We didn't meet on a dating website though, and neither of has had any intentions of finding a relationship, it just happened. We met after about a year and a half of talking online/phone, and that was a year ago this july. So they can be succesful.

[champloo]

i think its fine.

believe it or not, there is major controversy about internet dating on mmorpg's.

namely this one named runescape.

now, im not here to nerd you all out of existance, or to start talking about a game you probably have never heard of.

but, there is major problems, as people use this to get money in game. guys will go and make a female character, and then walk around the game to random guys who look "rich" and ask to "be their bf", only to result in the guy giving the "girl" (which is really a guy with a female account) items and currency.

but, i had a year old LDR because of the game. and ive seen pictures (more than one, and like ive seen enough to prove im not talking to some pervert old dude) of her, she's seen some of me, her friends have..

and i still talk with her everynow and then. we have quite a bit in common, as a matter of fact.

although i think internet dating is perfectly fine ,if dating is what people want, not a one night stand, as was said previously, and if you actually find a common ground between the two.

also, the affection you cant give on the internet is troublesome, but can be worked out if you try enough

[Newtolove]

why dosn't humanity learn to socialise normally ? it worked up to now and we're not exstinc yet. tech is for certain things only. direct comunication is for the real world and i hope relationships are still part of the real world.

[Brandye]

I am with you. new.

[moose_hd]

Originally Posted by Newtolove

why dosn't humanity learn to socialise normally ? it worked up to now and we're not exstinc yet. tech is for certain things only. direct comunication is for the real world and i hope relationships are still part of the real world.

Not everyone is extroverted and some of us are more like ourselves when we have the relative safety of the internet between us and the other person. For some people, socialising in the real world can be really awkward and nerve wracking as some of us are prone to being really self conscious. I know this doesn't occur to a lot of extroverted people but that is quite natural because we are accustomed to knowing only our own feelings for a given situation.

Me, I am very shy/reserved in public but quite the opposite on the internet, and the same was true about my ex. We just met randomly on some internet discussion forum talking about TV and movies and such. Half a year later we met in person and then we dated for over a year. I am sure that such a thing NEVER would have happened if we had initially met in person.

The internet is different but not a substitute for real life. But for some of us, depending on our personalities, it can be better and easier than doing everything in person. Some of us just operate better that way.

[ShyPeek]

I met my boyfriend in an mmorpg and we've worked out just fine. We've also met for real and are keeping a long distance relationship that may, eventually, become closer. Yes, internet has risks and it shouldn't replace your real life, but it's made up of real people too... and it's easy to find others who share your interests who, under normal circumstances, you might never have met face-to-face. I agree with Moose.

[JoeKnow]

Relationships and socializing has changed to meet with the times. We've come a long way from the "cave" days. Meeting people online is the same as meeting someone any place else.

If you meet someone in a bar, then you immediately immerse yourself in that kind of setting. Some go to bars just to pick up someone, whether their intentions are to find someone long term, or just to get "lucky" that night. Thats why some have given up on the bar scene.

I've known people that have had relationships through online services. Two are now married; the rest ...well they're either still together or have moved on. Much like any other ways to meet people. You either click or you don't. Take time to get to know someone. Same rules still apply...honesty, trust, communication etc. One bit of advice, if you find someone special, then lessen the online use for "meeting" people. Healthy relationships take time to build and grow.