My sad story

[MP84]

Ok so at the begining of the year I decided to see what this internet dating thing was all about. I didn't have any intensions of meeting anybody it was just more to satisfy my curiousity. Anyways I meet a woman last Feburary and we clicked instantly and few weeks of emailing eachother everyday lead in to talking on the phone at least once a day more like 2 or 3 times a day. But we would always talk for a hour or longer everynight before we went to bed. So as time passes we decided that we really need to meet so we planned on her flying to meet me actually we talked about it the second time we talked on the phone and got real serious about it like a week later.

She arrived last Thursday and was supposed leave Monday. So I picked her up from the air port on Thursday and we hugged and gazzed into each others eyes for a minute and just smiled and as we walked we just kept looking at eachother and smiling even in the car I could hardly concentrate od driving cause I kept looking over at her. I felt really good about us she said that she had felt the same way at first also. When we got to my place and as time passed it felt like she wasn't her self like she wasn't there mentally, there was an ocward feeling. So Friday afternoon comes by and she tells me that she is feeling ocward too, we talk about it and can't really figure out why. Some of the ideas were maybe she feels trapped having no car and being half way accros the US and off of her "turf" not really having her space, or maybe she is home sick it was her first time being away from her 1 year old daughter, also she said in the past year she's become really independant and that she not used to being with someone. So I took a walk and let her sit and think by herself for a while, she decides that she wants to go home early. She said it wasn't fair to me to have her over if she wasn't feeling like her self.
I took her to the air port this morning and now I'm at home sulking and taking everything personal. We both felt very strongly about each other up untill this point, we both remarked several times that we have fallen for one another and that we both have never felt like this about anyone else.
I guess what I'm after is what is everyones take on the whole situation. Do you think she is truly sincere, or maybe that she just wasn't feeling anything. At the airport I told her that I have this feeling that this will be the last I see of her she said thats not true and she'll call me when she gets home, we hugged and then parted our ways.
I just can't believe how hard it hit me I actually cried a little and I don't cry ever, I'm not trying to sound macho or anything but it's just something I don't do, I've never had anything affect me this much. When I talk about her I get all choked up and I start doing that silent crying stuff, this really sucks

[pozzolane]

To me it sounds like you two maybe moved a little fast. And I think that feeling she got might have been exactly that.

"Whoa. Not that long ago it was only chatting on the phone. Now I'm leaving my 1 year old behind to spend 4 days with a guy, I've just fairly recently met, on the other side of the country."

Don't take it personally. It was most likely not you, but just the situation. Slow things down. If she were to come back to visit she should maybe do other things too. Like just see the new city, relax, and stay at a hotel and not your house.

Rushing is usually never a good thing

[MP84]

She did mention once we got talking that she would like to take things slower. It's just my way I take things real personal I got it from my mom, thanks mom Just one thing that sticks in my head is she used one of those cheesy break up lines "it's not you it's me" even though she stated that she really ment it and hated using that line but couldn't think of anything else. Also after we parted our ways at the airport I kept looking back at her and watched her walk away for a minute, she never glanced back, from what I saw. If she was truly sincere don't you think she would have looked back?

[The1stTriSexual]

I can't imagine what it must be like for a parent to be away from their child like that, so I wouldn't drive myself crazy trying to analyze her behaviour when she had factors like that weighing down on her. I think pozzolane was right about moving too fast. I met my fiancee online, we met last July (on our 1 year anniversary) after a year and a half of talking. So much happened within that time that we had such a strong relationship when we met, and it felt natural. That's the power of long distance relationships, and we wouldn't of had a lot of those experiences if we met after only 3 months. So don't be afraid to take things slow, spend time building a solid relationship with her, and it will work out if you both are committed enough to make it.
Also, you might want to go visit her for the next trip, and I'd recommend staying in a hotel. Good luck.

[MP84]

Well she didn't call me like she said she would. She did text me to tell me she landed safely though. How long do think I should wait before I call her to talk about "us" I figured I would at least text her tomorrow to wish her a happy easter just something short and sweet.

[batman527]

The biggest problem with internet dating is that it's nothing like real dating. You can feel emotions that are just as real, but you can't possibly get to know the person through email or even the phone the way you can when you're actually with the person. So much of human communication is non-verbal, body language and things. So, it's possible that the two of you could be great internet daters and horrible real-life-daters. Long distance relationships are hard enough after having established a legitimate "together" relationship first. I couldn't imagine how hard starting a LDR is with no actual human contact first...

[WallyLlama]

Tough situation... lots of things "don't make sense" -- although it is important to realize that we are talking about an LDR that really was only 2 months in the making... and it sounds like you may not have discussed the actually meeting nearly enough before doing it.

That said, there are no do-overs.

Don't start playing games. Call her.

See if she feels like herself now that she's home and does "herself" include you... There's simply no way anybody can diagnosis this situation, you and she must.

I'd worry less about what happened and more about what's next. If you are going to keep the relationship and plan another meeting, there are lots of things you can do to increase the odds of succcess.

You used to talk every day.

Don't stop until you are both sure that's what you want to do.

[MP84]

I wasn't tring to play any games by not calling her. One of things she mentioned once, she didn't feel like she had her own space and thats important to her. So I just figured I should give her some time to think the situation over in her own space.