Advice

[ImaGuyokay]

Yeah, I'm totally falling for this woman I met over the summer. We have stayed in touch and have wonderful conversations and tend to just get along great. My only problem is that she is Jewish and I am Christian. It doesn't bother me that she is Jewish. The question I have is if anyone has ever run into this problem and how they got around the problem, or is it just something that doesn't work? Thanks

[dancingdoc2]

Usually differences in religions simply do not work, especially if the couple plan to have children. The questions become: which religion should they be baptized and raised; often the parent of the other religion doesn't participate in the child(ren)'s religious activities; and, differences in religious philosophies often bring tension and conflicts in how the marriage should be based and "operated".

Even if one or both of the parties are not particularly religious, difference in upbringing and philosophy can still bring problems. It is best that a couple have similar religious beliefs.

The answer to your question is that there have been enough documented cases of this that marriage for couples of dissimilar religious viewpoints is not recommended. With the divorce rate at nearly 50% in the U.S. who needs to add such polarization to an already ify situation?

[ImaGuyokay]

Thanks alot for the Advice!

[WallyLlama]

Hmmm... sounds a bit like a statistical analysis is recommended before considering a relationship?

What makes a relationship work?

I'd say the statistics prove that a lot of people (50%?) haven't figured it out or haven't been able to do it.

There is no doubt that differing value systems create unique challenges. But I also think it's a mistake to search of the "ideal partner" based on some nebulous criteria.

The ideal partner is the one you fall madly in love with... and the ideal relationship is the one you build together based on who you both are and who you are both becoming.

There are any number of mixed-faith marriages that work. There are mixed-race marriages working... age gap relationships... and so on and so on and so on...

My theory is that in part the high divorce rate is caused by people who search for the ideal partner then give up when they discover they haven't found him or her. Far better to fall in love with each other, accept each other, and figure out how to make it (the relationship, not the other person) work.

The big deal is to talk with each other about it. Don't let someone else or some statistics make your decisions.

[champloo]

ive been in the EXACT posistion dude.

girl i love is jewish. she likes me back (she says this) and weve been goin out off and on for a year or so.

i suggest what wally said. Doc is right about what he said, but if you can communicate properly with the girl and do things right, youll be fine.

like wally said, dont let statistics rule you.

[ImaGuyokay]

Ok, Thanks guys for all the advice. I'm definately going to talk with her about our relationship and determine what we both want to get out of it. I'll see where it goes from there? Thanks again.

[champloo]

alright bro, good luck

[pozzolane]

I've always found religion to be quite personal. Here I'm not even sure I understand your dilemma...

I don't see why you can't date a jewish woman? Christ himself was jewish.

There are different christian denominations out there that would frown upon an interfaith relationship. But I say they forget Christ's number one law. And the law was love rules all.

I think that includes others who do not share the same opinion in faith.

Give it a go.

[ShadesRuda]

It's funny, my grandma was Catholic and my grandpa was Jahova's Wittness (sp?)
My mother was then able to grow up with an open view on everything. My dad was raised Catholic but never believed it.

They raised my sister and myself Evangelist, but made it clear to us that we were free to decide what to believe.

My boyfriend, Michael was raised Roman Catholic and USED to be VERY religious, but he now does not believe it. When I met him I was very religious and he had no problem with it. He's always said that if we have kids he wants us to educate them them about all views so that they can make their own decision about what they believe.

Differences are usually against you when it comes to religion but my family history that is continuing on seems to say that if you're open minded things can work out.

[vagabondprince]

in most posts on this message board i would not say the following, but right now i feel very strongly about this.

DON'T LISTEN TO DANCINGDOC2's ADVICE! not exclusively at least. religious differences can always be overcome if you have enough that draws you to the other person.

Religion is simply an ideology that people live by, but love os something that trumps anything like an ideology. Anyway, don't consider dancingdoc's citation of that damned statistic too seriously. most of those failures in marriages DO NOT come from such differences as religion, but from jumping into decisions too soon, or "getting bored" in a relationship and straying. I've dated a Jewish girl without a problem, and right now i'm dating a catholic girl. I'm totally in love with the catholic girl, and things are going great (and i say great only because i can't think of a more powerful synonym that fits in such a sentence because it's better than great).

I wish you all the luck with this girl.