What to say to her?

[champloo]

im stuck.

boy, am i stuck.

i know what ya said "just ditch her, shes not worth it."

i know, i would...but...i cant. i really cant.

i tried for the whole week, and it killed me. it killed me so much to see her in the halls knowing i probably wont talk to her again.

so now im getting phone calls from her friends (one in particular cussed me out [last night] and asked how i could hurt her like i did. i kind of calmed the girl down and stuff but wow) and that led to her finally talking to me tonight.

now im confronted with this.

she tells me that there is one phrase i could say to her, that woul;d prove that i really love/care for her the way i do.

and i cant think of it. its making me go crazy knowing that i cant.

finally, she calls me like 10 min. ago. i guess at the beggining, and i get some of the phrase rolling.

and next, she is helping me out. in the middle she gave me "if i didnt" and things, and i finally had myself a phrase to tell her friend.

funny, i had to tell her friend so her friend could say it was worthy.

so i get on the phone with her friend, and my hands start sweating so much that i almost had the phone slip out of my hand.

now im trying to remember what i just said like 2 min. ago, but i FORGET.

im at the brink of tears when i tell her i cant remember, but they dont know that.

so now, all those things i figured out that ive forgotten, to her dont mean squat because i forgot so soon.

i swear i cant help it. now my neck is feeling extremely hot and it feels like its raining on my leg.

and now im confronted with what to say.

any help?

[jay-girl]

I'm not quite understanding your situation...you dont know what to say to your girl's friend? seems like a whole lotta girl drama thats extremely childish?

[champloo]

i didnt know what to say to my ex.

dont worry about it, im talking to her now.

and after a few gallons of tears, some curse words, and stuff, i have developed a calm solution.

but its like comparing a lazy-boy to an iron chair.

the lazy-boy is obviously comfortable.

[adam]

However, an iron chair will ground you if you build up too much static charge from wearing a wool sweater. It will be painful temporarily, but better that you ground a smaller amount of charge now than a larger amount of charge later.

I have learned too much from physics class and an overly dry winter climate.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by adam

However, an iron chair will ground you if you build up too much static charge from wearing a wool sweater. It will be painful temporarily, but better that you ground a smaller amount of charge now than a larger amount of charge later.

I have learned too much from physics class and an overly dry winter climate.

I'm not so sure you've learned too much. LOL

[champloo]

i think he means from personal experience lol

and your right.

and, to use another simile.

its like getting paralyzed from the waist down.

you then have to go in rehab and learn how to use your legs all over again. how to crawl, how to walk, how to run. and when you've learned how to run again, you have to get your legs stronger as they once was...and maybe even stronger.


can anyone understand what i meant by that?

funny, i was dating a very horny girl.

in the middle of all this blech and things sad and making me (the guy in this drama) cry my eyes out, she noted that she wanted tacos very much.


now, considering that we are talking about 14 year olds confined in a home with adults, and considering that the 14 year olds havent matured comepletely, you can see what a "taco" is.

we used to have detailed convo's about tacos. sometimes she would call me and demand i ride my bike to her house and give her one.

not only that, we used to talk about more than just a "taco", but the "meat" that goes inside, what kind of shell, and the condements (cheese, lettuce, etc.)

she always told me, "i want a hard taco too". now, if you cant derive what that means, basically, she really wanted to try EVERYTHING with me.

anal (hard) vaginal (soft) "northern style soft" ( oral to her) "northern style hard" (oral to me)...and many more.... the "lettuce" and "cheese" was her (and she made this up, so dont flame pl0x) getting wet, and the tomato was the condom inside.


thought of everything, said everything, and she made sure that she told me how BAD she wanted one of those style tacos with me.

and now, as ive said in the simile, we have to start all over again, square one.

^^ paralysis

friends, but nothing more.

^^ crawling

maybe more serious friends (benefits?)

^^ walking

going back out (and its unlikely, but theres that small chance..)

^^running/jogging.

and then making everything smoother and stronger than its been

^^ working out to strentghen your leg muscles after not using them for a long time.

[adam]

How many times are you going to have to start out from square one? I also read something about her friends (her friends!) trying to talk to you to prove your devotion to her. And something along the lines of "If you can't say one sentence that proves your love to me within the next five seconds, I'm not talking to you again."

The only way you're going to win is if you just dump the gal for treating you like an idiot. It's going to hurt, and you're going to miss her, and it is going to suck. But believe me, that is far better than being dragged around and manipulated and used by a moody, catty and pathetically dramatic 14 year old girl. Stand up for yourself now and teach the girl a lesson. You might even stand a chance of getting back together afterwards if the girl realizes her mistakes.

[dancingdoc2]

Well, Champloo, may I suggest a couple of things.

First, please go back and read what I said to you a few days ago about not entering into exclusive relationships until later in your teens. Part of the message extolled the benefits of not having to deal with all the trials, tribulations, turmoil, and heartache -break when you are at an age less likely to be able to deal with the emotions.

> i know, i would...but...i cant. i really cant.

You can in fact; although, in doing so it does not mean that you won't be thinking about her and all the what ifs that go along with it. Such ruminating is part and parcel of any breakup regardless of age. They are no less troubling at 20 or 30 or 40 or older, although, more life experience and maturity do make the separation process easier. You simply have to go through the grieving process and come out the other end. You can cry, bang your fist, or talk to trusted adults about your feelings and it will help.

You have an emotional investment that has to be handled and having raging hormones and little if any practical experience exacerbating the situation makes for quite an emotional upheaval. There is no easy solution except to say that you have a process to go through and it will be tough, yet you will get though it as billions of others have and will in the future.

Be nice to her and be courteous and do not go out of your way to place yourself in situations where she is likely to be. In the meantime, involve yourself with friends and by all means go out on dates, just keep them social and for the next few years do not make any exclusive. The benefits are that you will be more well rounded as an individual, you will learn more about what humanity has to offer you in prospective mates in the future, you will be better prepared to make a selection when the time comes, and in your immediate life, you will not have to deal with all the problems that relationships bring about when you are least able to cope.

[champloo]

alright, alright. i get it you two

im not gonna stop being friends with her though.

am i wrong for that?

[Sweetness12]

No, most definatly not. Try to talk to her a lot..but dont bombard her, ya know?