Girlfriend trouble

[Ryan]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. Things have been amazing we were so happy together and we were starting to fall in love. A few weeks ago I brought up sex and she got offended and things went down hill from there and she has been losing her feelings for me ever since. I have gotten her presents took her out to dinner and I've done everything that i know of to try to get her back. We're on a break now to see what she really wants to do. What can i do to "win her back"? I try to kiss her and she doesn't want to but i feel that when we kiss our feelings get stronger. How can I get her feelings back?

[Sweetness12]

---A few weeks ago I brought up sex and she got offended...

yea.. thats just bad if she gets offended...she could have very easily given you a 'Im not ready' Ya know?

[Ryan]

she just thought it was rude that i brought it up when i knew she wasn't ready. do you have any advice?

[Sweetness12]

uhm, well i dont because i've never had anything like this happen to me... i either say something like 'im not ready' or 'not today'... Wait for a senior member... they usually know what their talkin about

[pozzolane]

I would say that her reaction seems very immature. Usually if you're looking for a reason to quit something, you'll find one right?

I'd explain to her that you mentioned sex because you have feelings for her and want to start showing her in a physical way. There are also other things you can do as a couple besides sex (like oral, or mutual masturbation). None of which should be offensive.

If she still pursists that she's "offended", then just accept it, move on and find someone else more mature. Theres nothing you can do to "make someone fall in love with you" or to "make someone like you".

[Revirginated]

How old are you? How old is she? What were your expectations? Do you have any idea of her expectations? Is she sexually mature and desirous?

Does she require COURTSHIP? Do you think that COURTSHIP is uneccessary?
From my personal experience, and that of my female friends, boys/young men rarely seem to have the patience and interest for courtship.

I have pledged to myself that I will NEVER entertain a man's attentions again without the proper COURTSHIP.

[Rosie]

Hi Ryan,
Yes how old r you both? is she a virgin? if so it is a very touchy subject and four months into the realtionship isnt a very long time by my standards, but again that is only my opinion. you said she stated that "you knew i wasnt ready" is that true? what did she do/say to give you the impression that you should know that? perhaps she feels you are only in the relationship for sex and as she has told you before she wasnt ready you are being a bit pushy about the situation? I wouldnt say she is being stupid or immature she is just reacting the only way she knows how and seems to be strongly under the impression that you are in it for sex, all you can do is give her some time, msg or call everynow and then to see how she is going. explain to her that you care about her and think sex was a way to show ur affection toward her, but then again don't say that if it isnt true, ask her why it upset her? that u diudnt mean to offend her and that you are confused. when she is ready she will talk.
let us know how it goes.

[WallyLlama]

You probably won't "win" her back. What isn't clear from your post is whether or not you apologized. You don't have to be wrong to apologize, you can be sorry she was offended.

Then she accepts (hopefully) your apology and you move forward. Forward includes talking about how you both feel about what happened and how you can prevent these communication difficulties in the future. (This really is a communication problem, not a sex problem.)

All your other attempts (dinner, presents, etc.) won't improve communication. In fact, she may see them as addtional attempts to get in her pants.

[Sweetness12]

very true.....

[champloo]

yes.

i know how your feeling, but on another area.

its always the "break" first.