Asking how many: why did i? why should it matter?

[vagabondprince]

i've wanted to know how many guys my girlfriend has been with almost as long as we've been going out. I guess it's something on everybody's mind. but i avoided the question for two months. there were a few times when i easily could have slipped it into conversation. and then i'd think about how i wanted to word it, and the time would pass, and my asking would be awkward. I convinced myself that it was something that doesn't matter at all. she and i are very happily together now, and that's all that matters. but recently i asked anyway. i just couldn't help it. it really bothered me that i just had to ask. after she told me she was saying how she was afraid her answer would bother me, but really, all i could think about was how lame i was for asking. but still, after the fact, i didn't worry about how many she'd been with, but i have repeatedly wondered about these guys. I've wondered when the last one was, and who it was. I wonder if she's still friends or aquaintances with any of them. It kind of bothers me, but i can't get it off my mind. I don't know what the deal is. does someone else? and what can i do about it?

[ORANGE]

i think some one post the same question

i repeat my answer.

let it go. it is your ego that is eating at you.
how she treats you is all that matter. if she likes the other guys she would have been with them. life is tooo short. remember how she feel and touch and how she love you. if she does not love you kick her to the side, but she seem to love you. in time it doesn't really matter. remember anyone you are with will have a past.

best way to forget is to do something together that she never done before make your own memorries with her and try not to live in her past memorie. some time the past may be more pain on her then you.

my two cents.

[Brandye]

Only one male has ever asked me that question. He did not get an answer. Many of you would find the answer offensive but it is reflective of one stage of life and no one's business.

I have seen relationships end early and late when this question was honestly answered. The actual number is irrelevant. By the time I got to University I was no lo longer presenting myself as virgin and that is all that anyone needed to know. I (even a couple decades ago) had no expectation that anyone after my first was a virgin and they should not have had a virginal expectation of a woman in her twenties.

It is natural that, after getting the answer, you wonder if she is comparing. If she really is into you, she is not. If she went on the second date, you are measuring up.